A Tale of Two People

progress

2012-01-12T23:51:00.001-06:00

I have now discovered the final light switch mystery. our tiny house
in STL had 3 light switches, 3 remote lights and 3 pull cord fixtures
and here we have 7 different switches just in our kitchen. oi vey, am
I spoiled!!!

well, there's been one mystery switch that I haven't figured out -
until just now. apparently the architect who designed this house felt
that the recessed light in front of the laundry room and garage door
needed not one, not two, but THREE different light switches. how very
considerate of him...

especially since all three locations are within 10 feet of said light.

a christmas story

2011-12-25T00:52:00.000-06:00

a few weeks ago I impulsively picked up a copy of Mickey's Christmas Story (or whatever it's called). since the Bug loves Mickey and it's 3 or 4 separate stories I figured it would be a hit. and I was right. we watch it about once every other day; because she hasnt seen a christmas movie she doesnt love so we have a good rotation going.

I'm going to pause the narration here and explain something else: Matilda loves Santa to death, but has no clue about "presents". and by that I mean she recognized wrapped boxes, but hasn't figured out that she can ask for something and then get that thing. I very rarely buy her "stuff" or toys and so it's still kind of a foreign concept... for now. so if you tell her, "santa 's coming! are you getting presents?!" or anything in that vein, she'll just get excited at the thought of meeting the Big Guy. it's made this year really easy and manageable. woot!

so, going back to the story...

Scott is on call and so it's just the two of us. Matilda and I have opened our Xmas jammies and are watching Mickey before bed. the last story is a take on "The Gift of the Magi" by O. Henry. At the very end, Mickey and Minnie are sitting on a couch exchanging their (useless) gifts. suddenly, Matilda's eyes get wide and she jumps out of my lap and takes off.

moments later, she comes running back to me. but in her hands she's holding one of the presents I had wrapped and left on the table. her face was beaming and as she came up to me she handed it to me and said, "mommy present!" and hugged my knees.

it was one of the sweetest mommy moments and of course I started welling up. my little bug didn't want the present for herself - but something had finally "clicked" and she understood that it's about loving others and showing them that affection. she wanted me to see that she loved me.

it was a perfect moment and I hope I can hold onto this memory and feeling forever. this is my first real parent christmas - where I've stayed up too late (it's almost 2am! ugh!). but for once I don't mind. I spent the night getting her Christmas ready. stockings are filled, presents are under the tree, everything is clean and beautiful.

I did that because it shows her how much I live and appreciate her. it's not about the presents, but about giving her as much joy as she brings me. my little bug. my angel.

I feel like I've found a whole new layer to this feeling of the "christmas spirit" and I pray all of you may find it. Merry Christmas my friends!

florida pictures

2011-12-20T10:55:00.000-06:00

i would love to narrate my trip to florida with the bug. but im not going to do that.

i keep a word document for Matilda that i update periodically with "letters"to her that detail what she's been up do or doing lately and i already chronicled the trip for her there. so it's recorded, but not here. and since im on the computer that doesnt have that file, it wont be posted. it's not laziness, it's being 29 weeks pregnant.

i did, however, grab a handful of photos that i have from the trip that i really love. some of them are "good" pictures, and a lot of them are decent. but more importantly, they all capture a moment that i want to remember or an adorable snapshot of my little girl.

the bug is definitely a little fish. she would have spent all day every day in the pool if we let her and loved every minute of it. do you LOVE her 2 piggies (translation: pig tails. every day she tells me how many "piggies" she wants. "one piggie, mommy!" or "no piggie. no." "two piggies mommy, puhlease!").

some people get lots of kisses. sammy and grampaw (and always daddy) get lots. others (everyone else) has to beg for them. and yes, i am bitter.

this is a pretty good snapshot of how things would go. grampaw was *always* willing to hold his little Tillie - something i was extremely grateful for.

this was about 15 minutes into Disney. she was unhappy that we were making her wait in line. i promised her we would ride on a train after, but she was still very impatient.

even though she LOVES cars, trains, dinosaurs and animals, she does not love space rangers (yet). she was very put out about having to take a picture with him.

this is not the best quality, but i was definitely the best moment. i cant tell you how much she loved the carousel. she lit up once i strapped her onto the pony and she squealed the entire ride. i think she ended up riding cinderella's carousel about 8 or 9 times during the evening and every time she had the same reaction. she would pat the horse and tell it, "good girl" and then once the ride was over she would blow it a kiss and tell it thank you.

we stopped for a few minutes to plan our next move and she was looking around taking in the sights. everywhere she looked there was something "cool" and "awesome". i LOVED how curious and excited she was, even over the smallest of things.

you cant see the fountain in the picture, but when she spotted it she just HAD to stop at it for a minute and splash her hands around. so of course gramma came over with her to explore.

it was a crazy 11 days, but we made the most of it! there was an amazing visit with Bon Bon, a brief stop at Coco Beach and the Ron Jon Surf Shop (a family tradition), a day at Sea World, a day at Discovery Cove (you should all be ridiculously jealous), LOTS of swimming and floating down the lazy river, Disney, long nights hanging out and playing with my family, INCREDIBLE food and the best part was just being able to spend time with some of the most important people in my life.

while matilda might not remember this trip, going forward she'll have the bonds she made with everyone. she's old enough now that she knows who people are and recognizes them in pictures and when we FaceTime. Uncle Eric is no longer just a name she hears, but a person she knows and loves and cares about. the picture of carol on my wall represents happiness and laughter. and THAT is what made this trip so incredible. well, that and the snorkeling.

a leafy story

2011-12-20T10:21:00.002-06:00

my camera disappeared awhile ago and i waited around for it to materialize. fortunately, it showed up right before my trip to florida. but then i lost the computer cable. anyways - you know the drill.

i havent been taking a lot of pictures with the camera so when i found this long lost day from October i got really excited. this is the short story of matilda and and the leaf pile...

---

once upon a time there was a little girl who wandered outside to find her dad raking a large pile of leaves. she wasnt sure what to think about it, but when she saw her dad jump into said pile, she became very nervous. especially when Hoss jumped in too.

unable to resist her dad, she bravely jumped in after him... and she loved it!!!

much giggling, smiling and happiness ensued. there were leaves everywhere and lots of goofiness. EVERYONE loved the leaf pile!

she had such a good time, she couldnt resist giving her dad a kiss.

The End.

sunny days

2011-11-15T14:37:00.001-06:00

ive been gone almost 7 days and have another 3.5 days until im back. it's been heaven. i saw my bestest, BonBon, for a couple of days and that was incredible. then, i was able to join up with my parents and younger siblings.

i havent been on a legitimate vacation since my honeymoon. before that, it was in 7th grade. so, it's been awhile. it turns out, learning how to relax is a skill ive lost over time. it took me a good 4 days to not feel guilty or worried about lounging around. and the bug is flourishing under the attention. it's been a long time since she's had so much attention from multiple people, rather than it being mommy 24/7.

when i get back i'll post pictures and rub my vacation in your face. hopefully, it'll make you really jealous and you'll envy my luck. ironically, it's not the Florida sun or having multiple pools to choose from, or even the pina coladas that im enjoying so much - it's having 5 extra pairs of hands helping with the bug. it's the 5 other people that pick her up when she falls down or wants attention. there's someone else who's willing to change a diaper or get a snack. like i said - it's been heaven!

our halloweenie

2011-11-05T23:54:00.000-05:00

halloween has been really fun this year. we did a trunk or treat/chili cook off on saturday that i have no pictures from. however i refuse to feel bad about that bc i planned and then ran the event and scotchie was working so i was flying solo that night. my crowing achievement, though, was that i was able to keep the costume my mom sent matilda relatively clean. and the chili stains that snuck on there were no match for my stain fighting skills. ha!

anywho... matilda's costume is pretty self evident. when my mom was in Utah earlier in the month she picked up this awesome BYU cheerleader outfit. sweet! it totally got me off the hook for making her costume (i was going to make another Snow White costume).

you can see from the pictures how excited she was to go out. she had her costume on, her candy bag in hand, and her sparkly pink *jumping* shoes.

this cheesy smile gets me every time. i love this kid!

she was starting to get impatient with me... she really wanted to go!

she had a really great time - i promise! however, we passed one house that was really done up with fake corpses that would pop up whenever someone walked by. that didnt go over so well. and being the rock star mom that i am, i decided to take a picture of her misery.

our neighborhood is very trick or treater friendly and so the neighbors were out with a lot of candy and tons of kids ran around. in our subdivision everyone pulls up chairs and fire pits and just hang out in their driveways. it made things a lot easier for me and much less intimidating for the bug. we didnt stop at every house (good grief - i cant imagine bringing that much candy home!), but we did walk the entire neighborhood loop. scott wasnt home so once we got back it was door duty for us!

it turns out that this was the Bug's FAVORITE part of the evening! we sat on the stoop and had a great system worked out. i held the candy bowl and when people came up she would take her little fist and grab as much candy as she could. then, she would put it in their bags while telling them "appy aween!" and then tell them "thank you! bye bye!" as they walked away.

she would eagerly wait for kids to walk up. if they didnt come up the walkway she would be really disappointed and look at me and ask, "where go?!"

fortunately, scott came home before 8 and we got to hang out with him for awhile. toledo and the surrounding towns have some weird rules about halloween - in our town you can only trick or treat between 6-8pm. some towns wont let you go out if it's a school night and held their trick or treating over the weekend. it's odd and i dont like it.

once 8pm rolled around we went inside and matilda watched a little bit of the Lion King while she warmed up and i warmed up food for scott. what a cute tush!

this is a good shot of her sparkly shoes. honey got them for her and they are her all-time favorite. not only are they sparkly and hot pink, but they light up! because of this, matilda thinks they're jumping shoes. you can also see the sweet BYU tights my mom picked up for her as well. they're basically ridiculously adorable!

and thus concludes our halloween post!

birthday balloons!

2011-11-05T23:14:00.003-05:00

this is my favorite photo of the birthday girl. all in all, i think she had the best birthday ever! that being said, it was only her second and since we didnt make a huge fuss over her 1st i think the bar has been set low enough that exceeding it was pretty easy. but whatever - she loved it!

the key to an incredible birthday? BALLOONS!!!

thanks to the genius minds at Little Einsteins (the Bug's favorite tv show), the Bug had learned that nothing, i repeat, NOTHING, could be better than balloons for your birthday. they have an entire episode where Annie's friends each give her a single balloon. when they blow away, they search the globe to collect them all, eventually landing in Antarctica where they party with the penguins. lucky penguins! now, one of the important things to remember is that her brother gives her a "special" balloon. it's not a regular latex balloon, but a star shape. the bug could watch this episode every day if i let her.

we got really lucky when scott randomly got the whole weekend off. but wait! it's residency and nothing is ever that easy... grand rounds were scheduled for that morning so he was gone until about 11:30pm. nbd. in the 30 seconds between crawling into bed and falling asleep, scott suddenly worried that he hadnt gotten his bug a present. oh no!

he was really worried about it, so i took one for the team and told him to get her balloons. "get a bunch of balloons and you'll be her hero. oh, and spring for the stuff that makes the balloons last longer." he was a little skeptical, but promptly fell asleep.

the next morning we ran a few errands while we waited or scott to get home. he beat us back by a few minutes and matilda ran ahead of me into the house. from the SHRIEK that punctured my ears, you could tell that she loved her present from daddy. there were 2 pink balloons, 2 red balloons AND (the crown jewel) a huge Lightning McQueen balloon. since McQueen is one of her favorite things in the world, it totally melted her heart. she kept running up to scott and would hug him and kiss him and hand him a balloon to hold.

she cried when we left to grab lunch, but was satisfied when i promised they would be there when she returned. we went to her favorite restaurant and got her favorite lunch: rice, pinto beans, and a cheese quesadilla at Chipotle. when we got home she went down for a nap (the balloons were left in the hallway) and i regretted giving scott another reason (as if he needed any) to be her favorite parent.

then we played all evening and since she LOVES to cook with me and pizza is her all-time favorite food, we made homemade pizza. cake was a carvel ice cream cake and i let her have 2 slices! it was perfect. we had her open a few more presents (play kitchen pots and pans, fabric food, play utensils and the like) and she got right to work enjoying with them.

the entire day was a complete success! there was a (major) bump in the day when we found out our STL house had had all the copper stolen, but we did what we needed to and that's all been taken care of. what really mattered was that we spent time together as a family and were able to give matilda a birthday she would love.

nuclear

2011-10-21T15:14:00.000-05:00

NUCLEAR

that's what last night was. effing nuclear. what was supposed to be a nice baby shower at a delicious restaurant devolved into a white knuckled drive home in the rain. and i think what made it so hard was that i *never* saw it coming. she's always been sooo good when we go out!

let me call a quick time out here and explain something: i have never expected her to stay "perfect" or even "behaved" when we go out. but i did think that it would be a slow and steady decline. like, each time i took her out, it would get a little worse. so i was completely unprepared for what i dealt with last night.

the tears and screaming and kicking all led to the most monstrous tantrum i have ever dealt with from her (although it's not the worst ive seen- that honor still belongs to my now 13 yo sister Carol). and *thankfully* there was no biting or throwing of food and/or utensils. for that, i count myself lucky. sort of.

we left early and i was miserable. i had wanted nothing more than to spend an evening chatting and laughing with the other ortho resident's wives. i was really counting on working on making some friends dammit!

suffice to say, we got in the car (she was still screaming) and the soon as the car was in park, i jumped out and put her right to bed and had a good cry on my bed. good thing im pregnant bc i can just blame it on the hormones.

yuck.

2011-10-18T10:41:00.001-05:00

because we now have "real tv" (cable), i actually see movie trailers. last night i saw my first trailer for the new Twilight trailer. it looks awful and i think a little bit of myself died in those 2 minutes (the remote was MIA). it was a painful experience and im wondering if i need to start a literary deprogramming company. it would be similar to those groups that rescue people from cults and help retrieve their minds after they've left the harmful and destructive influence of the cult... what really boggles my mind (aside from the fact that people PAY to read stephanie meyer's "book") though, is that there are girls out there *swooning* over that robert pattison guy. REALLY people? REALLY??? both he AND kimberly stewart need to have a fire hose turned on them and some shampoo thrown in there too.

anyways, that's my mini rant for this morning. yuck.

beep

2011-10-18T10:16:00.001-05:00

our house has an alarm system. and since ive never had one before, it was kind of exciting and i really loved one particular feature: when you open any outside door, it makes a beeping noise. this is done so that you can be aware of when someone enters or leaves your house. and for the most part ive really appreciated it because i always know when matilda is trying to get out. on the nights when scott is gone, it allows me to sleep peacefully because i would know if someone was trying to get into the house (and so would they, which would hopefully make them immediately retreat). so there are a lot of upsides to this door beeping.

but lately, it's become problematic. matilda is now classically conditioned to believe that when the door beeps, her dad is home. le sigh. so EVERY SINGLE TIME i go out to the garage to get dog food, or empty the trash, or get something from the car, etc. she comes running to the front door screaming, "DADDY HOME!!!!" and depending on the day, she will be *shaking* with excitement. oops. sorry sweetheart - it's just mommy. my heart just drops every time i say that and my mommy guilt goes up another 5 points. but it's especially heart wrenching when i find myself having to say it 3, 4, 5 times a day because i need to use the stupid door. can you tell scott's on an intense rotation???

the WORST though, is dealing with the fallout of the dreaded morning beep. allow me to explain - when scott leaves in the morning i tend to semi-wake up for about 10 minutes and drift back to sleep. no big deal. it's like, 5am and i have plenty of morning ahead of me. and sometimes i dont even hear him leave. however, when the bug hasnt seen her dad for a few days, she becomes a very light sleeper. it doesnt matter what time she goes to bed - when that door beeps she's wide awake. except by then it's too late. so my morning starts at 5:30am to the sounds of matilda crying, "DADDY! NO!!! DADDY!!!!!" because she knows she missed him again. i then have a hysterical little girl on my hands who sits on my lap begging me to have dad come home. is your heart broken yet? because mine always does at this point. fortunately, i keep a large stockpile of Little Einsteins on the DVR. it pretty much kills most of my day, but we get through it.

stupid beep. and now im remembering something i need to get from the car, which means i'll have to start all over. ugh.

sore arms

2011-10-05T14:07:00.000-05:00

if you ask matilda if she wants to go to the park, the first thing that happens is you'll hear a sharp intake of breath, followed by a loud, "LIDE?!?!?!" she will then make a mad dash towards the door because she doesnt want you to change your mind. she'll clap and squeal the entire drive to the "pac".

given this enthusiastic response, one would assume that her favorite thing to play on would be the slides. however, you would be wrong. yes, she likes to go down the slides. and she loves to crawl through tunnels and run across bridges. but man, if there's a swing, im dead in the water.

she will sit in that swing for as long as you'll let her. and while she's in there, you'll hear her whisper, "awesome!" or "cool!" to no one in particular. she loves to look up at the sky and points to all of the trees around her. sometimes matilda will throw her hands up in the air and close her eyes. she's just a little girl, and yet she already wants to fly.

case in point: playgroup today.

matilda and i arrived at the park at 9:55am. exactly 5 minutes before playgroup is scheduled to start. we were on the swings by 10am. in fact, i KNOW she was in the swing by 10am because i got a call at 10am from my doctor's office reminding me that i have my ultrasound appointment on friday (!!!). at 10:30, i told her i was done and she was willing to get out of the swing. at 11:20, she was in the swing again and could not be coaxed out for 20 minutes. when she begged me to let her swing at 12pm, i wanted to cut the chains and throw the swing into the bushes. but instead, i let her swing for another 20 minutes. we left the park around 12:30. so let's do the math.

Total time spent at the park: 2.5 hours
Total time spent in the swing: 70 minutes
Percentage of playgroup time spent in the swing: 46.6%

it was a good day for my biceps and triceps.

OpEd time

2011-09-26T21:13:00.001-05:00

ive come to the realization that i tend to shy away from controversial subjects here on the old blog. that's primarily because i have some very strong opinions and i know that they differ sharply from some of my audience. and frankly, i dont want to feel like im constantly defending myself to others.

that, and im a TERRIBLE debater. i tried to join Debate Club in HS, and i found out that while i kick butt at the research and writing, when it comes time to defend and argue my point i totally fall apart. im really good at discussing economic history in pre-modern England, but throw me into a debate on the debt ceiling and im DOA (and i was an econ major!)... but i digress. today, i want to talk to you about a very important subject: capital punishment.

let me be clear folks, i am very PRO capital punishment and believe it is an essential part of the judicial system. in fact, i don think we use it enough! it's very frustrating for me to hear people talk about giving life sentences when we could easily put those buggers to death and be done with it once and for all! i also think we need to expand the scope of capital offenses to include those "lesser" crimes against society.

"but natalie, what specific crimes should we include?"

well gentle reader, thanks for asking. i believe it should include trespassing, destruction of property, and assault. i had a very traumatic experience that started about 2 weeks ago and it's led me to take this harsh stance...

it all started at a grocery store. a mass-retailer that starts with a W and ends with a Mart. i needed a few things and threw in a bunch of bananas and a carton of strawberries into my cart. i wish that i could go back in time and change my actions, but i cant. i might just carry this regret to my grave...

you see, within days it began.

that's right people. within a single day, my WHOLE HOUSE became infested with fruit flies. these were not the result of laziness and carelessness. there was no kitchen-neglect on my part, no. those tiny, quiet little buggers had hitchhiked into my kitchen via one of those fruit purchases. and when i say it was infested, i mean INFESTED. i came down for breakfast the next day only to find a swarm of them gathered around the bananas. i tried to swat as many as i could, but it was like battling the great hydra.

so, i did what anyone in my situation would do... my amiga posted a fruit fly trap "tutorial" (over 2 years ago and YES i remembered it) and i immediately set 3 of them up. over the next few days i would find the jars FILLED with these stupid, disgusting bugs. i was frustrated, but it wasnt until one of those damn flies flew into my EYE that i became truly enraged. and so i began to stalk them. and kill them. i killed every single fruit fly that i could. and it was glorious!

it took me almost 9 days to get rid of them. every time i thought i won i would walk into the living room and see 3 flying around. or 2 would show up in my garage. my kitchen would be scrubbed from top to bottom with bleach and STILL they would keep popping up.

it's been 4 days and there's been no fruit fly activity. while the fruit fly traps were quite helpful, i like to imagine that it was really my murderous efforts that really made the difference.

so, the take home lesson here people is that capital punishment is an oft forgotten tool that has been sanctioned by God. basically, i think all fruit flies that come into my house need to die.

amen.

a savory moment

2011-09-23T16:28:00.001-05:00

i spent all last night snuggled up with an oven. the bug has been sick since tuesday night, and it's only gotten worse. she had a low-grade fever wednesday and thursday, which turned into a high fever sometime around 9pm. it was a *really* rough night for everyone and while i have the luxury of staying in my pajamas, poor scottis had to actually get up, get dressed, and go to work.

but as difficult as it is to only sleep in 10 minute increments every 2 hours, i did have a few moments of absolute peace. we like to sleep with the windows open, and early this morning it began to rain. the air seemed cool and crisp while my bed (and bug) were warm and snuggly*. and there was something about that combination of cool and warm that brought back a super happy memory for me and i decided to share it - because it's my blog and i feel like it...

---

back in the Lou me and a few girlfriends had an awesome tradition of "girl lunches". we would try to do one every few weeks and it was something we would all look forward too. while we saw each other almost every day, our "girl lunches" were different. the idea was to have a nice lunch where we could let the kids roam and play while we enjoyed a meal that was fancier than mac and cheese or chicken nuggets. the hostess would get out her nice plates and set a beautiful table. and it felt SO GOOD to act like an adult! we'd always make sure to dress nicely and make an effort to do our hair and make up.

it was january and it had been a couple of weeks since we had gotten together - first there was the holidays and then all of our kids took turns getting sick. since it was kind of thrown together last minute (everyone was healthy at once) we decided to do soups. mindles provided an awesome cheddar broccoli, i made homemade bread bowls, and magsie brought coloring pages for the kids. it was one of those perfect afternoons. the house was small, but it was warm and happy. the kids, amazingly, all got along PERFECTLY that day and we spent a couple of hours just absorbed in conversation. there was a lot of laughing and a lot of joy...

---

there was just something about the cold air, the warm soup, and the laughter that came to me this morning. i almost started to cry - i miss that so much and crave it. but then i thought, "im just glad that i have that memory". you dont always meet and make friends like that and this morning i was just happy to return, even if it was for only a few minutes.

matilda-puppy

2011-09-18T20:51:00.003-05:00

as we all know, the bug has a "thing" for puppies. all dogs actually. but they're all puppies to her...

anywho, she's started playing a new game, where SHE gets to be the puppy. you have to call her "matilda-puppy" and if you dont, she'll crawl around at your feet "woofing" and panting like a dog until you acknowledge her. it was a pretty easy game for the first day or two. all i had to do was say, "aww! matilda-puppy!" and she would crawl away happy.

but now? NOW i have to actually play along. sheesh. what does she think she is, 4 years old? the problem is that once you start playing puppy, you keep playing puppy until she decides it's over. and while it's totally adorable, it's kind of weird for me to sit there scratching behind her ears for 5 minutes. she loves to follow Hoss around, crawling RIGHT next to him. when he lies down, she'll lie down on TOP of him, or across his legs {further proof that he's one of the greatest family dogs in the world}. i tried snapping some picture today, but i only got these two. neither of them are very good, but she had just come down from nap and was a) refusing to let me take the binkie away {she can move pretty fast, even as matilda-puppy) and b) was perpetually moving so the fact that i got ONE non-fuzzy picture seems like a victory. the only thing that's legitimately frustrating is her ability, like Hoss, to be underfoot at ALL TIMES. it's annoying when i'm working on stuff, but when i'm trying to cook and have a hot dish in my hand that's when it's frustrating {and dangerous, but that's secondary}.

then again, based on the amount of dog food she tries to sneak, there's a distinct possibility that she is actually turning into a real puppy. as long as she doesnt start trying to poop in the backyard, i think we'll be just fine.

zoo-ing

2011-09-14T20:16:00.001-05:00

last friday, Little Pants and i decided that a trip to the zoo was in order. it was a cloudy day with rain threatening all day. a little rain never bothered either of us, and so we decided that made it an especially good day to visit. after we got into the zoo, we passed a couple of workers who were talking about how there were less than 100 visitors in the park this morning - SWEET!

somehow, we managed to avoid actual rain, but since there were puddles everywhere, the little Bug couldnt resist splashing in every. single. one. normally, i would encourage it, but because it's the zoo i was a little grossed out by the water and avoided getting any on myself. have you seen Osmosis Jones? it's made me a little paranoid about zoo-germs. yikes.

of course, Little Pants is almost 2 and is therefore gross by nature. so when we went to look at the seals (her FAVORITE exhibit), she decided to slobber all over the glass. despite my objections and attempts to quell the behavior, she still managed to get a few more licks in... at which time i decided the right thing to do would be to photograph that moment.

we also got really lucky and happened to be at the elephant exhibit AT feeding time. the Bug's favorite part was watching the baby elephant, Lucas. he was *running* from one end to the other and she couldnt help but laugh the entire time.

my favorite moment of the day, though, was when we went into the bird viewing area. they have a little bridge/porch area where you can look at ducks and geese. we sat there for a good 20 minutes, just watching the ducks swim and dive. i think my heart melted about 5 times.

and yes, she DID pick out those jeans herself. you cant see it in the picture, but they're sparkly and her favorite part is the flowers on the back pockets. the first time i put them on her, i caught her looking at her bum in my full length mirror. she's such a girl!

it was a day of silliness and fun. i managed to snap a quick picture of the two of us making a goofy face and man oh man do i love this girl!

a day of firsts

2011-09-08T21:35:00.003-05:00

today was a big day in our house. the Bug and i had to MAJOR "firsts"! i know ive (futilely) said this before, but let's all try not to get all jealous. there's no need for your panties to get in a twist simply because my child is so much more exceptional and advanced than yours. but im getting away from myself, so we'll start at the beginning.

it all began around 2:38am, when the Bug decided that she had to join me in my bed. so, i slept with an octopus all night. she also happened to wake up when scott was about to leave for work - so our day started nice and early. woo hoo! now, after being a very good girl at my dr appt, she decided to take a 45 minute nap (when she needs about 3 full hours). clearly, our day is going to go well.

i had made plans with my new bud, Miss Arizona, and her 2 awesome kids. once everyone was done with nap, we were going to pile into the car and head over to the Bass Pro Shop near Miss AZ's house. it's been really rainy and the kids have been a bit stir crazy. so we headed over and were on our way.

excited yet?

well, 30 seconds upon walking in the door, the youngest child needed a diaper change so i volunteered to take the 3 yo and the Bug over to the giant fish tank. best idea of my life! because apparently, the bug had had ENOUGH of being still and the soon as i took my hand from hers, BOOM! she took off and went straight into the dense clothing section. there i was, standing in shock at my daughter's speed and remembering that i was watching my new friend's kid. and ditching said kid was clearly not an option because, frankly, i wanted to keep this new amiga. so, i grabbed his hand and we plunged into the forest of clothing racks.

5 minutes of fruitless searching brought me to our first "First" - today was the first time i had to have an employee call a Code Adam on the Bug. ugh. i guess you cant just say to the nearest clerk, "have you seen my kid run by?" without it stirring up a whole heap of annoyance. after another 5 minutes of descriptions and walkie-talkies, someone walked over with a smiling bug. she was hiding in the clothes rack and the only reason she was found was because the saleslady heard her giggling. thanks for teaching her that Scottis.

now, you would think that was the end of our "adventures". but if you thought that then you would be wrong. the Bug was now sentenced to spending the rest of the outing buckled up in the shopping cart. what's a Bug to do? i'll tell you what she'll do - she'll decide to be THAT kid. today was the first time being the mom with THAT kid in the store. the one that's screaming at the top of her lungs and inconsolable. i was suddenly the one whose kid was disrupting the relative peace of the store. so i did what every GOOD mom does in that situation - i calmly reasoned with her and the two of us came to a quick and peaceful settlement in which she promised to submit all complaints in writing and i agreed to respond within a 24 hour time frame.

we survived, but i was definitely introduced to the beginning of Terrible Two Matilda. i might take up drinking.

chocolate chip scones recipe!

2011-09-07T07:51:00.003-05:00

normally, i dont give out my recipes. if it's something i've perfected over the y

ears then i really hate sharing it bc inevitably it gets "tweaked" and in my experience, that's not been a good thing. i once shared my fettuccine alfredo recipe and my friend made it one night for dinner with a group of people over - she had changed a few things and when everyone started eating... well, she quickly stated that it was my recipe she had used! fortunately, the other guests had eaten my version and knew that such a concoction was not my version. not good people. not good.

and yes, i hoard good recipes that i find too. i have a reputation that i like to uphold and i consider them trade secrets. but this one is SOOO good and ive had so little success with finding scones that i actually like. but these are soft and crumbly - just the way i love them! this came up on a blog i read, Pennies on a Platter. it's a great blog and i LOVE this recipe! scott came home last night and immediately ate 4 (like i previously posted, i made them small). if you try them, let me know what you think!

and so, i bring you... Chocolate Chip Scones!

-----

Chocolate Chip Scones

Yield: 1 1/2 to 2 dozen scones

3 1/4 cups flour

1/4 cup sugar

1/4 cup brown sugar

1 Tablespoon + 1 teaspoon baking powder

1/4 teaspoon salt

3 Tablespoons cold butter, diced

2 cups chocolate chips

2 cups heavy whipping cream

Preheat the oven to 375˚F. Line cookie sheet with parchment paper or silicone liner. Using a wooden spoon, stir together the flour, sugars, baking powder and salt in a large mixing bowl. Cut the butter into the flour mixture, using a pastry cutter or fork, until the mixture resembles coarse crumbs.

(Source)

Stir in the chocolate chips. Add the whipping cream to the flour mixture and stir just until the ingredients are moistened. Do not over mix Drop the dough by large tablespoons onto prepared baking sheets, about 2 inches apart. Bake for 20 minutes. Let cool on wire rack. To freeze: Place completely cooled scones into labeled freezer bag. When ready to enjoy, microwave one scone on a paper towel for 20 to 30 seconds.

Note: the recipe says NOT to use a mixer, and i totally agree (this is coming from a girl who LOVES her kitchenaid and cuisinart). the mixture is VERY crumbly and inconsistent. this is not like cookie dough where it's somewhat uniform and NOTHING like bread dough. it's a different thing all together. i inserted a picture (not mine) of what it resembles. she also recommends using ghiradelli chips, but im a nestle girl and that what i used (and loved).

morning

2011-09-07T07:28:00.005-05:00

it's 8:30 in the morning and about 59 degrees outside. it's lightly rainy and therefore it's still a little dark outside. i have the sliding door open to let the cool air in and there's a little bug wrapped in a blanket snuggling next to me. little einsteins is on, but the volume is down pretty low. the dog is asleep behind the easy chair and life is peaceful. this rare moment is almost perfect.

the Bug is on her 3rd scone of the morning, but i don't mind because i used a tablespoon to scoop the batter so they're not very big. i have a warm chocolate chip scone myself and a large cup of Choffy. i dont remember the last time i felt this "not sick", and im incredibly grateful for it. will

the rest of the day follow suit? im not sure. i really hope so, but that remains to be seen. im going to throw in an unedited, un-prettied picture of the two of us that i took a few minutes ago. it's not a great picture, but it's us at this very moment. obviously, the bug is too enthralled by Annie's Birthday Balloons to look at the camera. but i dont care.

for right now, the TWO of us are happy and content. i hope all of you have an equally lovely morning on your horizon!

a farewell to august

2011-08-31T18:05:00.004-05:00

this morning was an early one. like, really early. as in early enough to make you feel sick when you get up. and the reason for it sucked. i had to take carol and sarah to the airport; our time together is over. my little heart was aching the whole drive and i didnt say much because i didnt want to get all emotional. the girls were pretty quiet too, but that may have been because it was 4am and no one even went upstairs last night until after 11pm. oops.

i wish i could explain what having them here meant to me and my family. it's easy as the big sister (who's 15 years older) to know something about them via mom updates and quick conversations over FaceTime. i watched them grow up - i was there for their first steps and the first day of school. but it's so hard to let them know who I am. im so much older and in such a different place than them. i mean, they're close in age to my daughter than they are to me!

but this month we actually got to spend real time with each other. they were there for me on some really awful days. and on good days we had GREAT times. it's pretty incredible being able to show someone what you're like at your best and at your worst. especially when you're closer coming out than going in! there were so many fun moments that i'll always treasure.

some of my favorite moments:

getting the girls haircuts - Sam cut off 10" and got a bob! then, i treated them to feather extensions. they're definitely way cooler than i am.
picking out fabrics to make skirts - each girl is SO different and it was fun going through my stash and matching fabrics to personalities
teaching a fabric flower class to a YW group with carol in it
all of the LONG and LATE nights playing board games
going to Maumee Bay at least once a week and watching the Bug and Carol turn into brown bears while simultaneously preventing Sam from turning into a lobster (we were successful ALL MONTH!)
teaching Sam how to use a straightening iron
i ran a social one night and left the Bug with the girls. when i came home, not only was Bug in her jammies, but they had cleaned the WHOLE FREAKING HOUSE!!!
did i mention they even vacuumed the stairs?
all the laughter

it was special and incredible and with any luck, it'll turn into an annual tradition. i was seriously spoiled! i just hope they had as much fun as i did!

a long story made longer

2011-08-29T20:44:00.006-05:00

i really need to do better about being honest on here. it's so easy to say that "hard stuff" doesnt need to be written. that no one wants to hear about what's really going on in my life. but that's not fair. i try to be as honest as i can about being married to medicine. why? because i want the other people who are on this same path to know what's ahead. it's supposed to be a real, honest-to-god, account of my life. people deserve to know that being a "doctor's wife" isnt all country clubs and tennis instructors. but it's not all exhaustion and resentment which eventually leads to divorce court. instead, there's a middle ground where i admit that while we're always going to be short on time, orthoman is doing something that he fiercely believes in.

but there's more to my life. i swear! and ive been holding back. in case you havent noticed, im very reluctant to talk about the fiercely private struggles that i deal with. so, im very nervous to announce that im pregnant. 13 weeks with an estimated due date of March 5th.

im going to take a nice, deep breath and pop another zofran before i continue... okay, let's keep going.

so that's really exciting! yay! woot! huzzah! hip hip hooray!

and yet, i feel a strong urge to not tell people. to keep it a massive secret until the baby actually shows up at my house. because im scared. you see, im not good at the whole "pregnancy" thing. there's the obvious hyperemesis (extreme morning sickness) that i have to deal with. but then there are the miscarriages.

and the latest one was one of the hardest to deal with. it was the beginning of june. i was almost 7 weeks and had *just* moved. my family and his family knew. and then, like the others, it was over. i was alone in a new city, with friends far away and VERY preoccupied with their lives as well. i didnt feel like i could unload this onto anyone. and so i struggled quietly for a while.

but then, something seemed off. i couldnt pinpoint it exactly. and it turned out to be this little peanut! silly me, im married to a doctor and i there i was, completely SHOCKED that i had gotten pregnant so quickly (and therefore unexpectedly) after the miscarriage. after reassurances from my doctor that this was, in fact, a very strong pregnancy, i started to have these mixed emotions.

i wanted to announce it right away and tell the world. but i also wanted to hide it from everyone. i mean, what if something happened again??? and it seems like such a gift. a special gift that i dont want to take for granted.

and i had been planning on keeping mum a bit longer. until this afternoon. a neighborhood lady came by to pester me (for the millionth time) about joining a stupid new neighbors club (bleh). and when she stopped for air i explained that i was pregnant and very sick. to which she replied, "i thought you looked really pale. and exhausted. that pregnancy look is just awful."

yikes. i went from having a *rough* day to a Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day. so, i figured a little FB love and support would feel nice. that, and i feel compelled to explain my apparently "hideous" appearance (okay, it's not really that bad).

so. there it is. my happy news, my honest news, my real life. and while im still feeling a bit tepid, im EXTREMELY EXCITED!!!

uno my ass

2011-08-18T21:18:00.002-05:00

can i just quickly jump in here and reiterate that while i LOVE to play games, i seriously HATE playing Uno?! i mean, come on!!! i cant remember the last time i won. now, dont get me wrong, i dont mind losing games. for example, i managed to lose at Monopoly both times we played this week. and while i won Scattegories tonight, and Life on Sunday, i got my butt handed to me during Phase 10. but that's okay because you win some and you lose some. except for freaking Uno. i mean, how hard is it to win?! well, if you're me, then there's a global conspiracy to ensure that i never, ever, EVER win.

jerks.

but other than losing for what must be the 23,043 time in a row, ive been having a blast. just about every night, after the Bug goes to bed, scott, my sissies and i all huddle around my coffee table and play a game. it's been awesome. and hilarious. and beyond fun.

except for the Uno. i effing hate Uno.

summer flashback

2011-08-11T14:24:00.002-05:00

forever ago (June), my parents and siblings came out to visit us in our new city. i was doing some work on the laptop and found a few pictures from their trip and i figured i would post them since they're all so cute.

one of our favorite places around here is a U-Pick farm that also has a small petting zoo. and by "zoo", i mean there are, like 6 animals and a bunch of chickens. regardless, everyone LOVED it! my mom picked some of the clover that was growing nearby and helped the bug feed it to the animals. you couldnt tell who was happier - the bug for getting to pet the animals, or my mom for getting the bug's attention.

she named the donkey "cookie" and the pony "pony". everything else was "cookie" or squealing.

another day we went to one of our FAVORITE recreation areas: Maumee Bay State Park. There's an inland lake right next to (as in 100 yards from) Lake Erie. it has an awesome beach that they keep really clean (wow!) and the water is fairly shallow for a long time. that makes it perfect for a little bug to swim in! of course you can see we HAD to bury sammy.

and since sammy was put under, we figured eric was next. it was really for their benefit though - this helped them from getting burned (losers!). phew! good thing im always putting other's needs before myself.

grandpa and carol decided to thug it out. cause you know there's nothing more ghetto than going to an Ohio State park. yeahhhhh......

---

so, that's just a short update on some of our summer activities. love it!

perks

2011-08-08T20:48:00.000-05:00

having a(n incredible) professional photographer for a sister has some
serious perks. we saw her for like, 3 hours in NJ and she randomly
shot these gorgeous photos. I LOVE my bug!!!!

counting

2011-08-08T17:38:00.003-05:00

obviously my kid is way smarter than yours. in fact, she's basically a genius. im seriously considering enrolling her in a witness protection program because she's SO intelligent that im nervous people will see her brilliance and start to stalk her. and she's just too young to be dealing with all the media attention and the paparazzi. i mean, she's just a kid, ya know? anyways, it's quite the conundrum for us. what's a parent to do in these situations???

her most recent achievement has been math. you see, the bug can now count! that's right folks. at this tender age of 22 months, my darling little girl is already a math whiz. im sure this is hard for you to read. i wish i could sympathize, but in all honesty, i cant.

let's be honest people, it's not everyday that a child her age can count to 2!

all day long i hear her, "one, two!" and "one, two, wheeee!!!!!!!" as she goes down her slide. what can i say, she loves to count! talk about astounding intellect!

there and back again

2011-08-07T16:34:00.003-05:00

this week was kind of a whirlwind for the bug and i. we decided that the best way to spend august would be to have my sisters, carol and sammy come out to Toledo to visit us! in order to maximize grandma and grandpa time, we worked it out so that i went out to NJ to get the girls, and Labor Day weekend grandma and grandpa would come out here to pick them up!

monday was the big day - the bug and i loaded up the car, gave Hoss plenty of hugs and kisses {scott left for work early that morning}, and we were on our way! as a treat, i downloaded the new Eric Church album - he's the bug's FAVORITE singer. we probably listened to all of his songs 4 or 5 times. i would glance in the rear view mirror and see her slapping her knee to the beat. adorable? absolutely!

the 8 hour drive was pretty easy, especially since the bug is a fabulous road trip companion. when we got to my parent's house, it took her about 3 seconds to start bossing around their dog, Coco. she was in puppy heaven! Coco is a cocker spaniel and more than half the size of Hoss - she would go right up to Coco and give her the business (anda kiss). oh yeah, and she saw her grandparents too. but really, it was all about Coco.

Friday had us scrambling to find all of our things and Carol and Sam doing some last minute packing. but somehow we managed to pull it all together. in fact, we even managed to grab a pizza for scott on the way out of town!

8 hours later, we were pulling into my driveway with scott and Hoss waiting for us on the front porch. the bug kept yelling, "DADDY!!! DADDY!!! PUPPY!!! DADDY!!! PUPPPYYYYY!!!!!!!!" apparently, we were a little slow in getting her unbuckled and out of the car. the girl wanted her dad and puppy and *nothing* was going to stand in her way.

it was one of those trips where i really dont regret not taking very many pictures. we were too busy playing with everyone and sometimes i think that's just more important. and every morning, when she gets up, she has a giggling fit when she sees her 2 aunties waiting to play with her. and since i made cookies yesterday, this girl is in HEAVEN!

weird

2011-07-30T12:51:00.002-05:00

so far, we havent been able to find a treat that really "entices" Hoss. milkbones are "meh" and beggin' strips are "okay". i don't get it! i mean, even peanut butter doesnt really tempt him! now, chuck hated peanut butter, but cream cheese drove him CRAZY. that dog would do anything for it's creamy goodness. but Hoss just kind of sniffs at it. scott gave him a leftover piece of bacon and he liked that, but he wasnt wild about it. our next door neighbor had some special, gourmet dog treats and he straight up rejected those.

i just dont know what to think anymore. i mean, how am i supposed to bribe him to like me more if he doesnt take any of the treats we offer him???

willful

2011-07-29T18:00:00.002-05:00

bug has opinions. LOTS of them. she always has and she always will. but today, she was especially vocal about one...

today was license plates day. scottis and i had to *both* go to the DMV to get the cars registered and titled in Ohio, so of course the bug had to come along. long story short, we spent 2 hours there and got one car finished. then we had to go back after nap. we were all scared to see how it would go. we finished in an hour, fortunately, but by then it was almost 5pm and the bug was hungry. we had promised her food once we were done and had planned on treating her to Chipotle {that girl *LOVES* her some rice and beans!}. well, that was the plan. but as we were walking out of the DMV office, she suddenly stopped. then, she took off. yelling.

"PIZZA! PIZZA! PIZZA! PIZZA!"

at the top of her lungs. she ran all the way down the sidewalk until she got to the door of a {gross} pizza chain store. fortunately, they only did take out so we were able to go elsewhere. however, once we got into the car she continued to beg for pizza.

so, we had pizza for dinner. and she was happy.

the story of Hoss

2011-07-24T20:17:00.004-05:00

well, we had a plan. originally, we were going to wait until next spring before we got another dog. but then, "somehow" that plan got moved up to the Bug's birthday. it kind of made sense. i mean, the girl LOVES dogs. when we moved to Toledo, one of the first things we did was find the local Humane Society. but we were firm. the timing was just way too soon.

and then, a week ago, i asked scottis to come with me to the bug's Lil Kickers' soccer class. turns out, that was a mistaken on my part (or blessing, depending on who you're talking to). dont get me wrong - class was wonderful. the bug LOVES Coach Caite and had a blast. things went downhill after that.

on our way home, i casually asked scott and matilda if they wanted to stop at the adoption event at Petco. it was starting in 10 minutes and it was on our way home. i mean, th

e bug would LOVE to stop and pet some puppies before lunch and nap. right? my first clue should have been the enthusiasm shown not by the toddler, but by the husband. you see, he had been the one to mention the event the night before. he had been the one looking at the dogs they were going to be bringing. he planted the idea that maybe it would be fun to stop by after class.

i had no idea that he had seen a couple of dogs that had "interested" him. and yet there i was, like a lamb being led to the slaughter, happily walking up to those

crates. we paused in front of one. aww, so cute. but what about the one next to him?

well, yes, he is cute. and yeah, it is really nice to see a dog here not barking and going crazy. what kind do you think he is? oh, you're not sure? yeah, let's ask the lady. i mean, why not? oh, he's a labrador / great dane mix, huh? 14 months? doesnt jump up, bark or be aggressive in any way? oh, my little girl would LOVE to pet him!!!

wait, how did he get ALL THE WAY OVER THERE. WITH MY HUSBAND?!?!

well, suffice to say, an hour later scottis had me filling out an adoption form while he sat with this massive dog next to him, scratching his belly. i can only imagine that the conversation we had was the same conversation mothers and fathers around the world have heard since the dawn of time. there was a lot of, "well, he would be MY dog, so dont worry! i'll take care of everything!" and a lot of "you wont have to do anything, except for a few things when im not home!" and "i promise you wont have to do much" yadda yadda yadda. i mean, it's an old script, but it was the first time i was the one being asked. i mean, they were both SO CUTE!

i did, however, take great care to make sure that it was scott's name and scott's name only on the adoption papers. that way, i can say he is 100% SCOTT'S dog and NOT mine. im pretty sure that this will prove to be a very wise move on my part. especially once it gets cold outside and he needs to be walked.

the rescue society promised to call during the week to set up our home visit. we would have to wait almost a WHOLE WEEK to see him again! while i was (understandably) okay with this, scott was on the edge of his seat all.week.long. boy oh boy, was he excited!

when the big day arrived, there was magic in the air. well, magic or humidity. i guess you can interpret that however you want. but it was magical for scott. the funny thing was seeing how there was absolutely NO adjustment period! scott decided a big dog like him needed a big name: Hoss.

so Hoss it is. it took them about 3 minutes to become best buds.

scott LOVES "his dog". those two do everything together. hoss is kind of like scotty's shadow - it reminds me of those old commercials, "my buddy, my buddy, wherever i go, he goes!" and when they're not doing anything, they're still hanging out side by side.

so far, so good. hoss LOVES our huge backyard. there's been a lot of tennis ball throwing and stick chewing and squirrel chasing.

my goodness, he really has settled in nicely - it's a good thing he's such a sweet dog! fingers crossed the "no accidents" streak continues!

not dead (yet)

2011-07-22T14:26:00.004-05:00

well, i AM alive. so that's good.

oh, and so is the bug and orthoman.

ive actually been around blog-land quite a bit over the past month and a half, but just not here. ive been invited to contribute at a second med wife blog and so it's been a little hectic. can i tell you how *thrilling* that is for me? little me, who has always dreamed of being published, was INVITED to contribute. ::blush:: basically, it means the world to me. i might not be in a book somewhere, but people ARE reading what i write! but i feel ashamed for not updating you on everything that's been going on.

it's hard, because right now, "medicine" IS my world. our focus over the past 2 months has been 100% focusing on scottis and residency. fortunately, it's all been celebratory and positive :o) instead of problematic. we're actually pretty well settled in at the new house - i LOVE that i can (honestly) say there are NO UNPACKED BOXES!!!!

and there's been a lot of "fun" too. lucky me, i moved somewhere with a lot of really awesome people. and unlike STL, there are a bunch of kids the same age as the bug!!! do you have *any* idea how good that feels? bug is almost 2 (for reals), and can play pretty well with a lot of different ages. but it's so fun to see her with her friends playing with her kitchen set or playing tea party. basically, my heart melts all over.

so, fingers crossed thing keep getting better from here!

j.o.y.

2011-06-15T11:36:00.007-05:00

there have been a lot of really hard days in the past month. like, really hard. and i know that we have even harder days ahead of us. sometimes just thinking about it makes me tense up inside and i feel my heart pounding. i calm myself down and refuse to dwell on future. instead, im living in the present.and lately, in between all of the really difficult things, there's been joy. lots and lots of sheer JOY in my life. and it's humbling and uplifting and crazy and ridiculous and utterly perfect sometimes. these little pockets of bliss seem to sneak in at just the right moment. funny how that works, huh? and it's all thanks to this one {well, and her dad too (i guess)}...

we've been trying to explore the nooks and crannies of our new place and we've already found some great stuff. the other day a new friend tipped us off to a you-pick farm that has, get this, a PETTING ZOO. now, there was only a donkey, a pony, 2 goats and 2 sheep {that ignored us the whole time, jerks}. but it was plenty for the bug. her eyes got wi

de as we walked up to them and the closer we got the faster her legs went. she was ecstatic about being able to pet the animals.

by the end of it, she had named all of the animals "cookie" except of the pony. his name was "pony". she was absolutely in love. you could hear her squeals from the parking lot w

henever one of them would lick her hand {yes, sanitizer was applied liberally afterwards}. we stayed a lot longer with the animals than we had meant to simply because the bug was having such a fun time. and we all know that a happy bug means a happy mom.

we did walk away eventually though, because there were plenty of these waiting for us:

yup. we went strawberry picking! it was actually my first time ever doing it and it was really fun. it took bug about 30 seconds to realize that the red things were delicious and so of course she ran up and down the rows grabbing strawberries and stuffing them into her mouth. after awhile she started to resemble one herself. and my heart melted about 50 times over.

plus, i got 5 pounds of FRESH, SWEET, PERFECT strawberries for $6.25. i'll be going back this weekend. for sure.

---

and that, my friends, was pure joy. god im lucky!

good stuff

2011-06-12T19:20:00.002-05:00

luckily for me, im outgoing to a fault. my quirkiness is charming and fun for just long enough for me to hook you as my friend. by then ive pumped you for enough secrets that i blackmail you into staying my friend. works every time.

or not.

but things are starting to look up in the friend departments. ive met a few kick-A chicks and im feeling pretty good about things. ive been here for over 2 weeks and have yet to give anyone the finger - so im already doing better than when i moved into STL {sorry again Jackie. i love you!}... scotch and i have had several "first dates" with new friends and they've all gone really well. in fact, i feel uber lucky that ive met and LIKED so many people. i think the loneliness that started to creep in is starting to ebb already. then again, scottis doesnt start work until the 1st; after that it's a crapshoot. but seriously people, ive already got 2 girls i wouldnt hesitate for a second to call {let's be real - it would be a text. i never call} about a playdate or hanging out with. there are a handful more that i would be a bit nervous to meet up with, but i know after that initial meeting it will be just fine. so in all, i think there's some really good stuff going on.

---

and if you're one of my new friends reading this, im totally kidding about everything i just said. im sooooo not nervous about making friends. i am in NO WAY intimidated by you sweetness. and im definitely NOT lame. the end.

momentum

2011-06-06T11:32:00.004-05:00

today is one of those days where i woke up and was ready to go. the morning was bright and sunny and it was about 65 degrees outside. my little bug was happy and playing in her room - in fact, i could hear her *squealing* from my room. scott was still out cold, so instead of bringing her into our room for snuggles, i peeked my head in her door and sat down and played with her until 9am. she was singing and dancing around with one of her "babies". the day was going so well that once scott got up we all went to check out the botanical garden. suffice to say, that was a HUGE letdown.

i have no pictures because that's where things came to a halt.

the bug found a gaggle of geese and happily chased them all over the lawn. once they were completely disbursed, she decided to keep running. and she ran into the parking lot. fortunately, there was no one else there. but she knows not to go into the street. in fact, she stopped short of the road and turned back towards us {we were running to catch up} with her hand outstretched. then she laughed and took off again. and so that meant we had to go home.

and it killed my momentum.

she just went down for her nap and im really hoping that i can get some stuff done around the house. laundry needs to be done and it would be nice if i could get the vertical blinds taken down in the kitchen and actual curtains put up. and there are emails to return {im looking at you Danelle!} and ironing to do, etc., etc., etc.

then again, i have a new episode of Jerseylicious on the DVR... he he...

thumbs down

2011-06-03T22:04:00.002-05:00

can i just say that the bug *LOVES* the yard. holy crap. and as much as she loves the yard, she loves going into the neighbor's yards and running down the sidewalk ten times more. {note: she's really good about not going into the street. it was a natural side effect of living in St Louis and city life}. and so the second she gets a chance, she'll make a break for it and go "visit" the puppy, Ming, next door. or she'll run into the other neighbor's front beds and run in between the shrubs. as cute as it is, it's also uber annoying to try and run after her. especially when she's got a 15 second head start.

and so by now, she's used to hearing, "bug, come back into the yard! BUG! GET BACK HERE!"... and do you know what she did today when scott yelled at her to come back? she DUCKED behind a bush!!!

frick!

she's figuring out how to be sneaky already. who teaches her this stuff? i didnt teach her that. damn nature... you get a thumbs down!

messy house, happy heart.

2011-06-01T10:49:00.005-05:00

bug is upstairs napping and scotch is building a workbench in the garage. im catching up on episodes of "the Little Couple". im a huge fan and feel like a total nerd. but it's way better than watching any of the "Real Housewives" series. i dont feel gross or pale when i watch the Little Couple so it's a winner in my book.

the house is currently in a state of disaster. we dont get garbage pick up until Saturday (our day got pushed back bc of the holiday) and so the garage is smelly and full of trash and used moving supplies. last night we had company over for the first time and fed the missionaries in our ward. one of them is italian so of course i had to make him my lasagna and bruschetta. there was garlic bread and an awesome salad. and because it was so hot outside, i sliced up cold watermelon for dessert. and the best part was that i had SO MUCH ROOM to do it all! we at in the dining room so the dishes werent staring at us the whole time. AND {most importantly} i didnt have to wash a single dish!!! the lizard hands are almost completely gone!!!

i posted about my weekend over at the other blog, but in summary: i met a lot of people. life is good. im confident that i'll have lots of fun and awesome new friends. there is a little girl just 5 days younger than Bug and another is 2 months younger. hooray for kids her age!!! across the street is an older couple who go to our church {sweet} that babysit their almost-3 year old gr grandson. Bug played with him all morning and CRASHED when i put her down for a nap. so now we have friends right across the road. hooray!!!

this makes me feel a LOT better because ive been feeling some serious mommy guilt lately. the bug has been asking me for "sha-lolly" about 13543215 times a day and will run to the door and ask for "IMMA!" she misses her friends and wants to play with them all the time. we were really lucky and got to see them frequently in STL. but fear not little bug! i'll get us friends!

cardboard boxes

2011-05-28T15:03:00.004-05:00

WOW! i feel like ive reentered society now that there's internet at our house. but i guess "reentered" isnt exactly what im feeling. it's like we've moved on and UP. we went from a cute, but t-i-n-y house in the middle of STL {city} with it's noise and clutter and filth to fabulously green Toledo. we've found ourselves in a little suburb outside of the city on an almost 1/4 acre lot. there are 3 bathrooms. 3! i can hardly get over how much i love that - having a teeny bathroom in the house was frustrating and annoying. i kept all of my toiletries in a closet in another room and had to do my hair downstairs because there was no room for it upstairs.

my kitchen is probably one of the biggest upgrades. it has an effing dishwasher people!!! and when i unpacked all of my kitchen stuff {of which there was a considerable amount} it not only fit, but i still had PLENTY of room for food! i had about 1/4 of my kitchen packed away and basically out of reach. and my hutch was FULL of platters and pans and food. we had a dinky little pantry that held as much food as i could cram in it.

but not now. we did a marathon grocery shop yesterday and guess what? my cabinets STILL have some room! my kitchenaid AND my cuisinart are both on the counters! not because they need to be, but because i WANT them there! i would use them all the time, but in the old place there was only space for 1. i dont dread the post-dinner mess because guess what? my kick ass dishwasher takes care of that for me! my lizard hands are already healing and the dry cracks are disappearing.

and the bug?

oh my gosh. the bug.

she has SO.MUCH.SPACE. she can run around all she wants inside AND out. she did this in STL, but she was constantly underfoot. her toys were always being rotated in and out because we didnt have space for them. now she has access to everything she loves. we even found a play kitchen at goodwill for $10! she wanted it in the kitchen dining area and since we have plenty of space for it - she cooks when i do!

most of the boxes are emptied and life is starting to develop a routine. it's still chaos, but it's our chaos. life is good today.

Dr Ween

2011-05-23T21:24:00.002-05:00

(photo courtesy of Jenn McCoy - my camera battery is dead and the cord is packed)

here's your proof that we now have a doctor in the family! on May 19th, Dr. Weener was hooded and became an official M.D. it's been 4 long years and has totally been worth it.

im proud of you bubby!

3.5

2011-05-19T12:40:00.001-05:00

in 3.5 hours, scottis becomes dr. scottis. in 3.5 hours, our med
school journey ends and residency begins. in 3.5 hours, i will a bona
fied doctor's wife and in doing so I will make jersey proud. we did
it!

now can someone pass me the bonbons and tell me what time any soap opera starts?

barely

2011-05-17T11:46:00.001-05:00

I'm alive. sort of. there's a moving van in front of my house.
Thursday we officially have a doctor in the house and I'm a bit
freaked out by it all. my house is full of boxes and devoid of
personality. it sits unsold, but even that can't bring down my
excitement right now. life is moving forward {finally} and I can't
wait!

cold feet

2011-04-12T18:32:00.004-05:00

here are some of my "truths" right now:

> my feet are the same temperature as an arctic tundra right now.

> i havent had any vanilla coke in like, 4 days and im on the verge of dying.

> i may have exaggerated how cold my feet are

> im not exaggerating about the vanilla coke

> my phone needs to be replaced, but i keep putting it off because the inconvenience of having to exchange it is still greater than dealing with the inconvenience of the broken home button.

> i got REALLY MAD in my dream last night and was swearing and yelling at this guy that tried to rob me. i got all up in his grill about it and was gesturing wildly and telling him off and giving him the "what-for". i liked it.

> scott gave me a really long, sweet kiss this morning and that made me really happy. i should probably ask for another one to try and repeat the effect.

> we've lowered the price on our house. again. somebody needs to freaking buy it already.

> i've got some sweet crafts that ive been able to work on that i'll post pictures of soon!!!

> this list has gotten too long and im sorry.

taking sides

2011-04-10T18:55:00.004-05:00

what side are you on? personally, im on the right side. but that wasnt where i wanted it be. i really wanted to be on the left side, but i never spoke up and now theres no turning back.

of course, im not talking about politics. im talking about what side of the bed i sleep on. when you got married/moved in with your SO, how did you decide who slept where? in the beginning, we were both "lefties" and so we decided to try him on the left and me on the right for a week and then we would switch for a week and then decide from there.

and what happened??? did we ever get to my week??? no. no i didnt.

ive been grumbling about it inside for over 5 years now and i know it's not going to change. but lately it's really been bugging me. it's a weird thing to think about, but seriously people. i like to sleep on my right side, which means that my knees face scotch. so i have to move all the way to the edge of the bed so that we have enough room. when he's on call i ALWAYS steal his spot.

but we're not going to be changing anytime soon, so i guess i need to get over this one, huh?

pretty.

2011-04-03T20:30:00.000-05:00

I love flowers. I *really* love spring.

bessie

2011-04-02T16:30:00.002-05:00

on a very long drive home this week, scotch and i got to talking... about cows.

in another life, scotch would have been a rancher/farmer. but since he's going to be a surgeon instead of a farmer, he has to adjust that dream a little bit. to him, that means living on a few acres and having a *gulp* cow.

**shudder**

when he announced this i immediately said "NO!". but he just wouldnt let it go. so, after 3 years of arguing about a stupid cow, we've set some rules that MUST be followed in order for him to have a cow:

1. it has to be a NICE cow. i dont want that thing biting me {according to scott, cows dont bite. but he cant prove that the dont} !!!

2. the cow is not allowed close to the house. they smell AND i *really* want to make sure that it doesnt bite me.

3. we have to have a shelter for the cows to sleep under. i get nervous that the cow(s) wont have a place to sleep at night AND i think they need somewhere to go when it's hot and sunny outside. i mean, what if they get heatstroke and DIE??? then i would have to deal with a dead cow!

4. i dont have to put in any eye drops or clean their ears or administer ANY medicines. gross!

5. i get exclusive naming rights

6. when he gets a cow, i get a sparkly present

---

i guess this means that ive got to start working on overcoming my fear of farm animals!

oops!

2011-03-23T09:55:00.005-05:00

i was inclined to attach a photo to this post, but then i looked down again and realized that as much as i love to laugh at myself, there are just some things better left undocumented. which brings me to my GIANT oops!

last thursday i was hurriedly preparing for match day. my dress was sweet, my hair was AWESOME, my make up looked perfect. i just needed to get my tights and shoes on. except i had forgotten to buy new tights (in nude). the bug had decided to play with them on laundry day and had subsequently snagged them. inconvenient, but not the end of the world. because in situations like this, i pull out my trusty Sally Hansen Airbrush Legs.

i love this stuff and i use it all spring and summer long. so, i spray and wait and then off we go.

so we're driving home from the match lunch all happy and excited and freaked out. it's a gorgeous, sunny day so i put my legs up on the dashboard and relax.

and then i burst out laughing. apparently, it was not my trusty spray on pantyhose. it was my spray on bronzer!

frick. frick. frick.

now, im well versed in how to use a self-tanner. i use it in the winter and know how to use it so that it looks natural and not orange. when used properly, it looks great. but not today. no, i had sprayed it on thick without exfoliating or moisturizing first. and i hadnt put my legs up to dry either.

so, it developed unevenly, orange-ish, and it looks like i have dark brown rings around my ankles. seriously people, it's bad. ive been working on it for almost a week and it's *almost* all gone.

i wish i could say that ive learned my lesson about always double checking the label, but that would be a lie. the truth is that when im in a hurry, im not going to be as careful. and so knowing that, im accepting of the fact that im sometimes, im an idiot with orange legs.

crazzee

2011-03-21T17:51:00.002-05:00

talk about a crazy few days.

monday - we learned we matched. i almost threw up i was so nervous.

wednesday - we met with the financial aid people and learned how we would pay back student loans. i almost threw up when i saw the numbers.

thursday - finally found out we matched to Toledo {woot!}. i didnt throw up, but i did cry for a bit.

friday - drove up with the in laws to see family in chicago. no throwing up here either.

saturday - went walking around downtown Chi-Town, ate delicious food, the Bug became fevered on the drive back to the hotel. the bug did not almost throw up, although i DID lose a bunch of sleep.

sunday - more partying in the Windy City. i ate at Portillo's and my tummy was full. i probably could have thrown up if i wanted to.

monday - back in the Lou and taking it easy for the night. the weather is AMAZING. . . and no, i didnt throw up. but i bet that since i mentioned "throwing up" so many times you assumed i was going to say *someone*, anyone threw up. but you'd be wrong. sorry.

match day summary

2011-03-18T22:31:00.002-05:00

hey guys!

i wrote a match day post over at A Resident's Wife. you should check it out. im actually up in chicago land this weekend and so i'll repost it here in a few days. but you really should just go over to that site and follow it. please?!?!

http://aresidentswife.blogspot.com/2011/03/match-madness.html

where?

2011-03-17T12:37:00.002-05:00

Toledo baby!!!

check it out!

2011-03-15T14:55:00.004-05:00

bahhh!!!!!!!

i wanted to let you all know that i'll be contributing to another blog from time to time. i would REALLY LOVE IT if you checked it out. it's a blog devoted to resident wives. so, if you love it, then you should totally follow it!

http://aresidentswife.blogspot.com/

thanks for reading and being so kick A!

adrenaline rush

2011-03-14T20:29:00.003-05:00

everything is different, but nothing has changed.

that's how i feel right now. i mean, a lot HAS changed. but it hasnt been long enough for it to really settle in. we find out the "where" on Thursday. but the biggest question, the "will" we match has been answered.

scott is going to be an orthopedic surgeon.

that keeps echoing through my brain, but it still makes not sense. i mean, he's still the same guy as he was yesterday. except now we know for certain what he'll be doing for the rest of his career. and while we dont exactly know where that will be, there are only 10 options. so when you think about it, it's pretty incredible. i mean, in just 2 more days we'll actually be able to plan ahead. life has just kind of "stopped" after March 17th. scott's done with coursework, so we just settled into this limbo.

but we're 2 days from contacting a local realty agent... 2 days from being able to visit our next "home"... only 2 days from looking at school districts for when the bug is a little older... 2 days from facing the reality that this medical journey is only half way over {and that is in no way depressing}... 2 more days baby!

but for the 2 days in between now and then...

everything is different, and nothing has changed.

matched!

2011-03-14T13:53:00.002-05:00

Scott forwarded this message to me today. I was with my friend Bon
Bon and we both screamed. loudly. I started to cry. after 4 years of
busting his ass, my boy is going to be an orthopedic surgeon!!!

we find out Thursday where we go - our #1 is the Geisinger Medical
Center. fingers crossed that we get it!!!!

baaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!!!

4 eyes

2011-02-26T13:15:00.002-06:00

this is me *right now*. I'm freaking out. I'm nervous. I'm UBER
insecure. there's so much that's going on in my life and I'm just
treading water here.

I decided I needed to wear my old lady glasses. I put them on when I
need a healthy dose of ridiculous. I think everyone could use a pair,
actually. they tell me not to take life so seriously. how can you
have an anxiety attack when you have insanely awesome/ugly frames on
your face?

the secret is that you cant.

rubbish. rubbish i tell you!

2011-02-23T15:34:00.003-06:00

this is complete and utter rubbish. the bug came down with a wicked cold early sunday morning. the kind of cold that involves waking up every few hours and wanting mommy to hold her. while that's really sweet and cute in its own way, it became supremely frustrating when i woke up monday with the same raging cold.

talk about bad timing.

we're now at 6 days until the house goes up on the MLS. while we *could* push that date back, we're not going to do that. scott is in class this week and next, but it's nothing hard. whew! so the punch list is getting hammered out. the good news is that there are only a handful of items left. the bad news is that i had hoped to be on the "deep cleaning" stage by now. le sigh.

is it too late to burn the mother down and run away to aruba?

greasy food

2011-02-21T10:23:00.003-06:00

in other news: i fought an epic battle against a grease stain this weekend.

huh? allow me to explain.

on saturday my uber amazing friend had a work party at her house (she too is getting ready to sell). so, in an effort to support magsie, i provided dinner. i made an incredible brisket (if i do say so myself) and made sammiches. but im also a dork and make dumb mistakes.

i failed to properly hold the aluminum pans while i was carrying the meat inside. the pans were stacked on top of a case of bottled water and had plates on top. and when i went to adjust the load before i went up the stairs, it happened.

beautiful, delectable, greasy juice spilled onto my #3 favorite hoodie and "go to" plain shirt!!! i was convinced that was the end of the sweatshirt. ive never successfully removed a grease stain. i can get anything else out, but not grease. and, since the party was just starting and it was the only clothes i had, i couldnt do any immediate treatment.

fast forward 5 hours.

i decide to see if maybe i can get some of the grease out so i could salvage the sweatshirt and t-shirt for fabric scraps. so i soaked them in dish-washing soap. and then soaked it in vinegar. and then threw it into the washing machine about 2 hours later. and you know what???

IM WEARING THE SWEATSHIRT RIGHT NOW!

the t-shirt went through a second process because 90% came out, but since it's white it needs a second treatment. but that's okay since the shirt is from target and the sweatshirt is from Gap.

i really am the laundry goddess i think i am. ha!

---

and let me be clear: in no way did i blame the brisket for what happened. we had a good talk about it and then i ate 2 sammiches.

i found nemo!

2011-02-21T10:08:00.003-06:00

buying "finding nemo" on itunes and putting it on my phone has got to be in my top 10 "best decisions ive ever made" category. it turns out, the bug is OBSESSED with it. she watches bits and pieces of it all day. when she wakes up in the morning she tells me, "cookies mommy? puppies? NEMO!" and so instead of giving her a cookie, i bring her into my bed and we snuggle while we watch 20 minutes of nemo together. it's heaven. it's the only time she'll sit still.

some people might think that letting her watch a movie whenever she asks is one of those "bad mommy" things. i say that those people dont have a punch list that has to be completed in 10 days. i know it'll be rough weaning her in the next week or two, but for now, it's totally worth the consequence. to be fair, it's the ONLY tv/movie she watches and it's generally in 5-10 minute stretches.

so maybe it's not so bad. maybe im ruining her for life. meh. im okay with that...

status report

2011-02-18T08:52:00.003-06:00

so, the house goes live on the market in 11 days. holy shnit. this is a brief snapshot of where im at:

- there are paint splotches all over my arms, neck, calves and ears. they've been there for days. when i shower i dont bother to try and scrub them off because there will only be more the next day.

- matilda is in LOVE with country music. you can put on any Eric Church or Zac Brown Band song and she'll start wiggling and shaking her booty. true story. she goes CRAZY - clapping her hands and laughing. you have to love it!

- i have silicone caulk under both my index and middle finger. im pretty sure those nails are so well reinforced that i could use them to scale a building. it drives me crazy.

- you should see the welts i have on my thumbs.

- on second thought, it's probably better that you dont.

- im now running for 15 full minutes at a pretty quick pace. after that i do 45 minutes of really fast walking at a really steep incline (4.4 speed, 8.0 incline). with my syncope, i have to build up to actual jogging, so this is a really great way for me to build endurance. im SUPER happy and usually do my jog/run 4 or 5 times a week. happy!

- im very stressed and sometimes that gets directed at scott. im trying to do better. i really do love him though - i promise!

- matilda is also in love with Nemo. and being independent.

- doing all of these little projects make me want to never leave this house. it's incredible and i know im going to always love it and miss it. but not the lack of a dishwasher. i wont miss that.

- this list might be getting too long for some.

- last night i finally let myself cry for 5 whole minutes when i thought about not seeing the friends i love so much. im afraid of being lonely again and i dont know what i'll do when my friends arent there anymore.

- im freaking out - Match Day is in like, 26 days!!!

- the MOBot is absolutely STUNNING right now, and the 70 degree weather is really incredible

- the weather is letting me get a lot more house prep done, and im feeling really blessed. God knows what i need and is taking care of me!

---

Billy Currington sums it up pretty well when he sang:

"God is great, beer is cold, and people are crazy"

running help

2011-02-15T14:37:00.004-06:00

i have a question for all the runners out there:

what kind of socks do you guys wear? do you have a specific brand you like? do you double up on them?

---

my toes are starting to hurt. i have great shoes and an insert, but my little toes need a bit of TLC. so suggestions?

snowpocalypse: day 2 noon report

2011-02-02T11:24:00.003-06:00

so it's almost noon on day 2 of the Snowpocalypse. the bug is snuggled in a blanket on the couch with her dad watching Up. she's curled up in his arms and i want to go take a picture sooo badly. but the minute i pull out the camera, she moves and scotch gets mad at me for disturbing her adorableness.

scott is off work again, and the snow has finally stopped falling. everything is white and beautiful on our street. the snow/ice combo has {understandably} shut down the city. i love it.

i just finished cutting up the homemade marshmallows i started last night -- waiting 8 hours for them is always a lesson in patience. le sigh.

and speaking of cooking, here's a funny thing: the bug LOVES HER SOME COOKIES. last week she found a new favorite book: "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie," by Laura Joffe Numeroff {we also love "If You Give a Moose a Muffin"}. but we read it, i dunno, 3,342 times a day. and ever since we started reading it, she has started requesting cookies more often. in fact, it's now her first words to me whenever she wakes up. "cookie mommy? cookie???" and i say, "no cookies" and shake my head. well, this morning she was very adamant. when we walked into the kitchen to get breakfast, she walked over to the oven, hit the door, and said, "cooooookieeeee mommy?" and then came over and gave me a kiss. so, being the incredible mother that i am, i made cookies at 10:30am.

and you know what? i dont care. it's a snow day, and she's my squeaky bug. sometimes, it's okay to bend the rules.

so now that the oven's all warmed up, ive got bread rising for hoagie rolls. i think i'll have a ham and swiss sammich for lunch. scotch will probably defrost some meatballs and have a meatball sub. and the bug? well, she wont have a cookie for lunch.

that will come afterwards.

snowpocalypse: day 1 summary

2011-02-02T11:15:00.004-06:00

i gotta say, im really digging this "snowpocalypse". the name alone has me sold. and i cant complain about something that's given me and the bug our scotty for 2 DAYS. we still have a warm house, and i keep a stocked pantry so there's plenty of food. im very grateful for those things. i know there are a lot of people who dont have that right now. we are lucky.

yesterday, we just hung around the house all day. scott and i watched Sherlock Holmes during naptime and in the afternoon, the bug was DYING to go play outside in the "snow". although it wasnt really snow. there was maybe 1" underneath the 1/2" of ice. but she didnt care about technicalities. no, that girl grabbed her snowsuit from the closet, handed me her hat and mittens, and out we went. she played for almost an hour - just walking around in the alley across the street. sometimes she would walk over to the side and put her whole face in the snow and lick it {im not kidding}. she LOVED every second of it. she also liked trying to pull the ice covered blades of grass from the ground. she never noticed the cold - it was mom who finally couldnt handle it anymore.

but in my defense, we went outside so fast that i only grabbed my coat and a hat. no gloves, no scarf, only a short sleeve shirt under my jacket. not cool.

we had a good day of just playing together. breakfast was pancakes and eggs. lunch was chicken cordon bleu i had made last week and frozen. dinner was homemade pizza.

yeah, i like snow days.

how about them apples?!

2011-01-30T14:01:00.003-06:00

yup. we're done. as of 9:30pm last night, to be exact. that's when scotch walked in the door from his 10th and final interview!!! im trying not to freak out here, but it's hard not to get worked up. i mean, the guy has been gone every weekend for the past 2 months. seriously, it was getting old.

but now, we've got our scotty back. and he's not going anywhere anytime soon. it's a really good feeling to have. it's also kind of scary because that means that our time here in the old 'Lou is coming to an end. and while im ready to leave, im not ready to say goodbye. but that's a can of worms for another day.

for now, it's enough to be excited about what lies ahead. booyah!

practice

2011-01-26T12:23:00.002-06:00

the orchid show is starting THIS SATURDAY at the MOBot. im trying hard not to freak out and geek my pants.

in the meantime, though, ive been trying to practice my photography skills. again. after i got my {sweet} phone, i started leaving the ol' point n' shoot at home more. when i wanted to take really GOOD shots, then it would pop out. but i got out of the habit of toting it along.

and frankly, i would like to try and do the orchids {some} justice. so, if you havent noticed - ive been taking "real" pictures again.

---

did you know that it's REALLY HARD to photograph a 15 month old?

especially when you're trying to capture the gorgeous color of her eyes?

fortunately, ive finally figured out the best lighting in my house. and it's in my kitchen. with really ugly appliances in the background. so im trying my best here.

fortunately my model/test subject is outrageously adorable, if wiggly and undisciplined.

i love her

2011-01-26T00:38:00.002-06:00

i really do love her. she's remarkable and incredible and all mine (for now).

this is her cheesy smile. it melts me every time. she wrinkles her nose up and give a big, toothy grin.

and can i tell you how much JOY those piggy tails bring me? i mean, ever since i found out it was a girl ive been dying to do this. im completely obsessed. and i dont even care.

daily life

2011-01-25T19:32:00.002-06:00

there's been a whole lot of this going on... jealous much?

uppy date

2011-01-16T16:31:00.003-06:00

things are still pretty awesome on the running side of life. things are good -- i FEEL good -- well, except for my big toe. there's a wee blister on the side. but it's bandaged and going away so no biggie.

last time we talked about the running i think i gave off the wrong impression about my running preferences. what i was trying to explain was that i hate STREET RUNNING and love TREADMILLS.

now, at this point, 99% of all people are probably going to look at me sideways and shake their heads. ive never actually met anyone who actually prefer a treadmill to running outside, but it's my reality people, deal with it. and you know why? because a treadmill keeps me honest. it sets the pace. it wont let me stop on the side of the trail and "take a breather". it never slows down for a minute (just so i can catch my breath). and it gives me actual statistics that i can use. so, the treadmill and i get along really well.

is that strange? maybe. but i really do love it. and now that im going consistently, im remembering just how much i love going to the gym again. i hope to be able to add weight training into the schedule soon, but that's a time issue rather than a motivation issue.

so im in a good place. ive already been able to reach my first goal, and im really excited. here's to happiness on the treadmill!

big plans

2011-01-14T11:40:00.004-06:00

well, a package may or may not have arrived on my doorsteps this week.

-- squeal --

that's one jelly roll of the FABULOUS "giddy" by Moda collection

that adorably awesome pink -- best binding fabric ever???

and the aqua, pink and red??? it's one of the most exciting backing fabrics ive ever gazed at!!!

now let's all take a minute to scroll back up to the beginning of the post to stare at the fabric choices again. much better.

---

ill put up photos here and there of what im working on, but can i tell you how EXCITED i am??? "giddy" really is the perfect name for this fabric line. le sigh. it was love at first sight!

timeout!

and here's where i insert a quick shout out to my mom for giving me a GC to fabric.com for my birthday... if it wasnt for her, then this happy project would never be!!! i discovered this site last year and LOVED their prices.

and i should mention that MODA has no idea who i am. and all fabric.com knows is that i placed an order from them. obviously im not sweet enough to get any sponsored posts and whatnot. so internet people, stand down. but if for some reason someone ever DID decide that im cool enough to ask me to review, or sponsor something, i would totally disclose.

piggy tails

2011-01-13T13:16:00.002-06:00

this was my morning - an adorable tantrum. frick.

the cat was away

2011-01-10T13:43:00.005-06:00

and so this mouse (me!) decided to play! allow me to explain...

a couple of my friends have also been "interview widows" like me. last week the hubster was gone from wednesday until sunday. one of my friends also had a husband depart. he left tuesday and is coming home tomorrow (yuk). so, we did what any women in our situation would do - we buddied up on dinner 2 nights. saturday, we decided to do something a little "nicer". i made an italian feast, and she was in charge of dessert.

now, let me pause here. my amiga Magsie has an AMAZING little girl that has the curliest hair and just melts my heart (her little dude is equally awesome). since Miss C is almost 4 years old and one of my favorites, i put HER in charge of dessert. i figured that would make things more fun for her. and being totally sweet, she decided to not just do a dessert, but she wanted to do a

"fancy" dessert.

and this is what showed up at my house!!!

as you might have noticed, the cake was not out more than 30 seconds before we all devoured it. i had to take a picture, but not before i dug in! it's a peanut butter cake with frosting and reeses peanut butter cups crushed on top.

hallelujah and praise the lord -- this cake is GOOOOD!

i would also like to mention that this is Miss C's FIRST CAKE EVER. pretty impressive, no??? im thinking i need to have her over again for dinner and dessert ASAP!!!

newness!

2011-01-08T09:40:00.004-06:00

okay, so this is mostly aimed at the people who are reading my blog on their computer as opposed to google reader or an rss feed because this is a commenting-esq feature. just so ya know. now, you could leave, but given my usual level of ridiculous, do you really want to do that? i didnt think so.

moving on.

i found a new feature today! it could be like, 4 months old and everyone's been using it already and im just totally behind the times. or it really is new and exciting.

did you know there's a "reaction" button? ya. neither did i.

at the bottom of my posts you'll see a line that says "thoughts" because i didnt like "reaction" nearly as much. and im kind of a rebel. you can choose "sweet, lame, more, and less" on each post. and yes, you can select multiple ones.

im really hoping people use this - especially the "more" and "less" options because that will help me know what people actually want me to be writing about. so really, this benefits EVERYONE.

it's also anonymous, so if you think im writing something totally lame and boring, then you can let me know that without having to reveal yourself and risk me biting my thumb at you, sir.

wow! that last line was like, uber nerdy. yikes. sorry.

anyways, it seems like an easier and faster way to get your reactions without making you go to the comment form. i know im really good about staying current on posts, but im awful about commenting (although im trying to do better).

and one more thing - if you follow me and want me to follow YOU, just let me know in the comments. id totally love to hear what's up with my readers. this is more like an intermet conversation rather than a monologue.

so, are you in???

impulse

2011-01-08T01:30:00.003-06:00

i wouldn't say I'm a very impulsive shopper. if I have a list then I'm usually pretty good about sticking to it.

but tonight, my brain timed while at the grocery store. and it was at the nice grocery store - not the ghetto super Walmart I usually frequent. I was there to pick up a salty snack for the movie I would watch after bug went to bed. and so very innocently I went over to grab a bag of chips.

but not just any chips! no, these were the Ruffles Cheddar Cheese and Sour Cream chips. (you know I like them since they're capitalized).

and then? i noticed that there was an empty spot on the shelf... that's right people. the store that I dragged my kid into while it was basically like -567 degrees and blizzarding (that's not exaggerated, nor did I make that word up), the store that's pricier but close to my house did NOT have the one thing I wanted. WTF is wrong with this world? is the whole thing collapsing? has society completely self destructed?

maybe. sheesh.

so why am i even searching for a movie treat? doesnt scotch usually ask for brownies or cookies during movies? well, thats because he wasnt joining me that evening (or the evening before or the evening afer). yup. my bub is in Detroit battling roving gangs of laid off auto execs so he can interview at Beaumont. and me? I just wanted to relax with chips and Audrey Hepburn.

bullcrap.

so in my anger I walked past a frozen food case. and inside??? girl scout ice cream. eddy's decided to assault me with images of samoa ice cream (one of my kryptonite foods - the cookies, not the ice cream). and somehow it ended up in my cart! i have no idea what i was thinking or why i even did this. as i reflect back, i kind of chuckle.

I find this particularly funny for a few reasons:

1. I'm not a big "ice cream" person. it's okay and all, but if it's not a cake batter, brownie batter, or chocolate cake batter flavor than I can easily pass.

2. it just had tiny chunks of the cookie and is blended with vanilla. so it's incredibly boring and not really giving you the "samoa experience".

3. uhmmm, hi. did you forget the -785 degree temperature? well apparently i did. idiot.

so now I've got a tub of ice cream taking up valuable real estate in my freezer. I guess I'll have invite people over so that it doesn't sit there for 7 months (no joke) untouched like the last one did. or feed the bug ice cream at every meal (her dream, not mine). or feel a

this ice cream is forcing me to do something I absolutely do NOT want

to do right now - think.

gross.

trophy wife in training

2011-01-05T13:40:00.005-06:00

ive been trying really hard to avoid writing about this topic, but it keeps nagging me and im pretty sure that's because deep down i want to talk about it openly... so, we're going to have a little chat about my "weight". if you want to bow out now, feel free to hit alt+F4 and we'll see you another day. otherwise, let's have a quick recap.

almost one year ago (exactly) i came home after hanging out with one of my favorite friends. and i was crying. you see, in the course of the evening, this friend repeatedly referred to how positive i was for a "big girl", and started dropping "even at YOUR SIZE", and so on and so forth. basically, we kept looping around her thin-ness and my fatness. no matter how hard i tried to steer clear of it, the comparison kept being made. gross. especially since i had had a baby only 2 months prior and it was the first time i had gone "out" alone since the bug came along.

great way to spend your night, huh?

anywho, i came home and sobbed to my husband, yadda yadda yadda. and then the next day i started a new path. a path to being skinny again. because once upon a time, before scotch started med school and i started eating to comfort myself and avoid my stress, i was a VERY active, and totally hot chick. yup. i was that skinny bitch. and i never realized how easy i had it. no kids, school was fun, and i could go into the mountains for a long hike 4 or 5 times a week PLUS hang out at the gym.

yeah, life was sweet.

but now, it's not so easy. and im not that skinny bitch. blerg. BUT im working on getting there.

so the bright side - it's 2011 and im almost 35 pounds lighter than i was.

HOORAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

but i still have work to do. it's no longer this ridiculous hill to climb. sure, my goal weight is like, 25 pounds away, but guess what? I ALREADY DID 35 SO WHAT'S ANOTHER 25???

yeah baby.

but im really needing to step up my game now. and that's why im writing here.

im going to run a *gasp* 5k this spring.

wait, what? that's like, barely 3 miles. sorry, not impressed.

well, i dont care. i HATE running. i could do all sorts of work outs all day long, but running/jogging is the one thing i hate to do - especially on a street.

BUT, im going to do it. im looking into a few, and once i find one i'll let you know. im scared as hell, but im also really excited. i was never good at running. sports? yes. give me a field hockey stick and i could run the full game. but put me on a track and i could barely eek out a mile in under 15. it's psychological and weird, but whatever.

so, that's what im doing. i thought i would let you know since im going to be a doctor's trophy wife very soon.

what do you think? love running? hate running? advice about 5ks???

he he

2011-01-05T11:29:00.003-06:00

I'm working on a little something right now and it's got me really

giddy. this is just one of the blocks and it's just a pinwheel, but

still... the colors here are pretty rad. is there anything better

than lime green in a blanket?!

squeal!

seriously?

2011-01-02T22:12:00.003-06:00

over 6 years ago I met an adorable boy from Colorado... he was sweet

and amazing and we shared a lot of the same interests. it was

perfect.

he shared some of his favorite bands with me, like the samples,

eastmountainsouth, kelly clarkson, and so forth.

I introduced him to my favorite nj underground band, coheed and

cambria. it was great. we bonded. we sang along.

and then it happened.

about a month ago he came home from an interview trip and made an

announcement, "I'm sick of my music, so im going to listen to country

now".

CUE RECORD SCREECH

what?!?!?!?! WE don't "do" country.

I'm from JERSEY. not Kentucky. DIRTY JERZEE. I'm not kidding when I

say that we don't even have a country music station in ny/nj. I mean,

COME ON! that was one of our "things.". WE make fun of country music

in all forms.

and yet somehow I'm listening to Eric Church (wtf) while scott drives.

I've only got an hour left of this drive, but what about the previous

13 hours???

damn I love this boy - country or not.

flat

2010-12-17T13:33:00.003-06:00

sometimes i have to take a deep breath and remember that we won't always be in medical school. in fact, we only have 5 more months of medical school left before we head off to residency. but then i remember about the really long road that lies before us once we start that journey.

sure, scott will be "a doctor" in a short time... but it's going to be a loooong time before that really changes anything drastically. i mean, dont get me wrong. im really excited for him to be PAID for his work. but then i think about how many hours he'll be working and how he will essentially be making LESS than the minimum wage for a few years. ouch.

i guess im just a little cranky today. it's almost christmas and that's super exciting. but scott also got a flat tire and a dead battery yesterday, which meant $300 just disappeared a few days before we head off to NJ.

so im being grinchy right now and could use some serious christmas cheer right now. hopefully i can pick myself up and make today better, but i dont see how to do that right now. this isn't a "why me" thing -- this is a "life is freaking HARD" thing. blerg.

sorry for being a debbie downer. but my life is so far from perfect and so stressful that i would hate to make anyone think otherwise. because it's OKAY to be grumpy/upset/annoyed/irked sometimes. it's completely normal, as long as you dont let it beat you down. so im going to embrace my feelings for now and then move on.

why dont you have a merry and bright day for me!

wanna meatball???

2010-12-14T13:25:00.002-06:00

Homemade Meatballs

Number of meatballs vary based on size

4 - 5 pounds ground beef

1 medium yellow onion, finely chopped

3 tbsp. minced garlic

2 tbsp. salt

1 tbsp. pepper

2 - 3 eggs

1/2 c romano or parmesan cheese

1/4 c dried oregano

1/4 - 1/2 c basil, finely chopped

1 c Italian bread crumbs

1/4 c red pepper flakes (optional)

Note: I like to put the onion and basil leaves in the Cuisinart and chop them in there at the same time. The onions are slightly chunky and the basil is chopped to a nice consistency. I try to avoid using all dried herbs because it makes the meatballs slightly grainy in texture and I prefer fresh ingredients. For the garlic I just use the minced garlic you buy in a jar at the store, but fresh works well too.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Combine all ingredients in a (very) large bowl and mix together (I just use my hands) until it’s evenly blended. I usually set aside part of the mixture and add the pepper flakes to it so that Scott has some spicy meatballs.

Form some meatballs golf ball size and flatten the tops. This makes them easier to eat on sandwiches. Make others larger, almost tennis ball sized for spaghetti (remember, these will cook down in size). Place them on a cookie sheet - make sure it has sides or else the grease will run onto your oven.

Cook the smaller meatballs for 20-30 minutes and the larger ones for 45-50 minutes. Check the center of the meatballs to make sure there is no pink. I like to cook them a little longer so that they crisp a little on the outside.

done!

2010-12-14T11:09:00.003-06:00

im done!!! i wanted to make a few of matilda's christmas gifts this year and i am sooo happy to say that they're all finished and looking AWESOME! ill post some pictures another day. but trust me - they're freaking awesome!!!

AND THEY'RE DONE!!!!

definitions

2010-12-09T18:25:00.001-06:00

this is a picture depicting "irony". yes, yes it is.

el sobrino

2010-12-08T22:13:00.007-06:00

i have a sobrino (nephew).

he is amazing.

and 3 years old.

for preschool they made collages of their christmas wish lists. this is what he brought home.

i looked at it and thought, WOW! those monster trucks are pretty sweet! i want one too!

and then i looked more closely.

and maybe peed my pants a little bit from laughing so hard.

----

do you see what i see?

perhaps the most impressive thing is not his obvious taste for lovely boobies, but the fact that he managed to get that on there without his teacher noticing.

and to that, i say "well done, sobrino. well done."

---

may we all {including R} get everything on our wish lists! merry christmas folks!

ps - do you have any idea how hard it is to use a "paintbrush" on a laptop without a mouse?

meatball mania!!!

2010-12-08T12:16:00.003-06:00

there's been a firestorm of cooking over here lately... it began with a turkey day repeat on Saturday with friends and kind of evolved from there. it's finally started to get really cold here in the Lou, so after conferring with squeaks, i determined that it was time to make meatballs!!! they're a big hit with scotchie's stomach and a HUGE hit with my food calendar. do you map out your meals? im a big fan of the dinner calendar, but let's be honest here. sometimes you just dont feel like cutting everything up for fajitas or taking 2 hours to simmer your vodka marinara. and that's when the meatballs come in... meatball sammiches are a HUGE hit in our house. i freeze them after cooking so that when scott looks at me saturday afternoon and says, "what's for lunch?" i can just point to the freezer. a plain spaghetti dinner instantly becomes kick-A with a few large meatballs thrown on top.

but i also found this uh-mazing looking cookie recipe. scrotch says i cant call it a cookie, though. he isnt sure exactly how to characterize it, but it definitely falls under the "dessert" category. it's a marzipan cookie, and let's just say that it's a new holiday favorite.

maybe if you're lucky you'll find a batch on your doorstep!

the torrence

2010-12-02T16:46:00.003-06:00

this is the torrence. she's one of my 7 year old nieces {i love you too abbie!}. over turkey break, the torrence, the smeb and i all ended up going out for a girl's lunch. can you tell how awesome she is? and now excited she was for me to take her picture?

if you cant, then the following series depicting her eating a lime will convince you.

cookies for kisses

2010-12-02T16:33:00.005-06:00

the bug started to get stingier with her kisses about 2 or 3 months ago. as her mother i became very upset by this... mostly because she had given them so freely and frequently before and i really missed that. but i think ive finally found a way around that...

notice those 2 missing cookies?

yup. that's right. straight up bribery.

she's recently been introduced to the world of cookies. andes' candies cookies, snickerdoodles (above), chocolate chip, oatmeal raisin chocolate chip... that's right, the girl LURVS cookies.

does bribing my daughter with cookies for kisses make me a bad mom? probably. do i care? not while it works!

the great gamble

2010-11-30T09:43:00.003-06:00

scott and i have spent so much time together that we've run out of things to say... so we're now turning to external activities to pass the time - betting on our child's development.

now that the bug is a little over 13 months and scooting around furniture, we figured that she's going to start walking sometime in the near future. the bug will hold onto the couch and walk back and forth. she loves to hold onto the baby stroller/walking toy that her honey got her. she's also ventured out a couple of times and taken a solitary step. but nothing more. she wont let you hold her hands and walk around with her {which my back is thankful for}. and like i said, she never tries beyond that one step. so while we were driving back from colorado on sunday, i proposed a bet. the terms are listed below so that we can keep scotchie honest. because this is my blog and obviously i'll win. right?

TERMS

the loser must perform a selection of christmas carols (no more than 3) to sing solo in front of my family on christmas day. the winner will be the person who get's closest to their date without going over. should both of us fail, then we're both a couple losers who bet on their child's milestone and couldnt even get that right. therefore, a duet will be performed to the chagrin of the audience. so, i guess my family is the real loser in this. sorry mom.

CONDITIONS
- Scott believes that the bug will be walking on or before DECEMBER 13.
- Natalie KNOWS that the bug will start walking after December 13, but before Christmas Day.

---

and we actually havent run out of things to talk about... it just made the beginning sound a lot better than "we got bored on the long drive"

spare time

2010-11-16T13:40:00.003-06:00

it seems like ive had zero crafting time lately. and while that
wasn't too awful for the first week, im now ready to get back into
things. so i grabbed some blue spray paint and came up with this...

I know it's not turkey day yet, but im ready for winter!

mi cucina

2010-11-15T21:33:00.002-06:00

okay, we're gonna try this again...

so this is an un-subtle hint about how scott and i spent tonight after the bug went to sleep. i know this is kind of a brain-buster, so ill just tell you - we painted the kitchen! since the cucina is so small, it took about 20 min of prep work and about 30 min of painting time. not too shabby! im having trouble getting a true shot of the colors, but let's just say that im in love here.

as ive alluded to in the past, we're doing a kitchen update in preparation for our move this spring {hooray for graduation!!!}. the cabinets have been sanded and painted. hardware has been installed. tonight paint went on the walls. and sometime in the next month or so we'll put up new light fixtures. ive been loathe to post pictures because this is one of those "free night" projects... so it's taken us about a month to get here. but we've just about made it! we'll have to see in the morning if it'll need another coat, but im thinking not.

dont you just LOVE behr paint? im not sure why you would use any other brand - it's so much better than anything else out there. for the cabinets i splurged and got the primer and paint in one. it made SUCH a difference!

all of this work with my sander and wood and paint has almost got me missing my days on construction sites... almost...

.hoy.

2010-11-15T21:23:00.002-06:00

today, there was a trip to home depot. the bug felt that it was absolutely necessary to wear her necklace into the store. and to show off some teethies.

she also insisted on acting out a scene from "titanic".

just pretty

2010-11-14T19:12:00.002-06:00

we stopped by the butterfly house at the zoo last week and i loved how

this guy just sat perfectly still so bug could enjoy him. once she

got distracted he promptly flew away. it was nice to have a private

viewing.

saturday morning

2010-11-14T11:30:00.002-06:00

first of all, let me say how much i HATE the auto-capitalization
feature on my phone. it drives me crazy, but i have no idea how to
turn it off. grrr!

so yesterday morning our quiet was disrupted by sirens. lots of them.
in fact, there were 5 fire engines and 2 emt trucks worth of sirens.

the neighbor's house was on fire.

so we bundled up and joined the crowd of people watching. i was
surprised by how quiet the fire was. i guess the movies just make it
seem like a screaming inferno. but it wasn't. very quietly, it
licked the house until it was gone - kind of like a tootsie pop. the
loud noises came when the windows burst and some of the roof caved in.

eventually it became too chilly so we went back inside and watched
from the couch and under a blanket. it was both fascinating and
tragic.

pizza

2010-11-10T21:26:00.002-06:00

This was dinner tonight. scottis has the usmle step 2 exam in the morning, so he was studying and i felt lazy... which is funny because a year ago homemade pizza sounded hard and annoying.

And now?

well, let's just say that i look forward to "easy dinner nights" a lot more than I used to - and so does the bug. and yes, that IS a tiny screwdriver you see. but that's a story for tomorrow.

greetings

2010-11-10T12:49:00.004-06:00

it's been... a long time. too long, maybe? id say so. but i really needed to push the pause button on all of the "extras" in my life. scott disappeared for a couple months while he did away rotations for school. there were applications for residency. and then there was all the traveling. yes, the traveling. how much? well...

5,100 miles

in 2 months. all by car. and that's not counting all of the "around town" driving. that's just going from one place to another. our drive went from: STL -> NJ -> STL -> Albuquerque -> STL -> Chicago -> STL -> Denver -> STL... mind you, some of that was with scottis, but our companions included Honey, Gampa, Tamners, and her 2 rug rats {cause the bug and i are awesome}.

so ive been exhausted. i did the single mother thing for a few weeks, and it was awful. so abandoning all extraneous activities became a matter of self preservation. we did what we had to do. and im sure it'll all pay off some day {soon!}.

when scott came home in october, there was a lot of staring at him, at bug, and back at him. what do we do with him *around*? he's been on a bunch of "easy" rotations {although, really, anything is easier than his surgery and away rotations}.

---

but i also had this blogging crisis going on as well. i mean, this started as a personal blog. it was supposed to be a means of keeping me connected to my family and documenting our foibles as we stumbled through medical school. and it started to morph into something else. it started with my flower pictures. then i threw in cooking stuff. and then some craftie love. and im sitting here wondering, where am I in all of this? im supposed to be more focused in my writing; or so im told. but im not that single minded in life, so why would i be that way on my blog???

so, im giving up on the idea of being focused and embracing my eclectic-ness {if that's a word}. im hoping that might be something that you enjoy reading. and if not, then i understand. so we're gonna keep going with the personal stuff, the food love, and fun.

this is my life. it's crazy. it's ridiculous. and i still hate capitalizing words.

miss october

2010-10-12T21:54:00.002-05:00

i cant let such a moment pass by... it's my little bug's first "yankee jersey" {id be lying if i said i didnt tear up a little when i put this on her the first time}.

obviously, it's a onesie with Jeter's number on the back, but it's basically the same thing. only cuter. and made by me. wait until you see the shirt she's wearing friday for the big game. so, how did i do it? it's easy-peasy. just some blue fabric, fusible webbing, a stencil and an iron. maybe i'll venture into tutorial land if anyone's interested... is that something you'd actually care to see? or not really? no hurt feelings either way. anywho... i just have to say this really quickly"

go yankees!!!

purty

2010-09-30T18:33:00.001-05:00

I did not edit this picture in any way. I snapped this earlier today on my walk.

The colors are true - how often do you see something that looks so BLUE?! And the light filtered through the back, making this look like it's glowing.

I also love the sunflower head - the yellow is such a stark contrast.

Love it!

awesome

2010-09-24T12:35:00.001-05:00

Smebbie.

Becky.

Jacky.

Most people aren't lucky enough to know them, let alone hang out with them. They're hilarious, totally sweet, and occasionally inappropriate {my personal favorite}. When I'm with any combination of them, I'm guaranteed a good time.

We can go get burritos, shop or just hang out at someone's house. Regardless of the activity, location or group, it's about as kick-butt as you can get.

And oh yeah, they all also happen to my my SILs...

Lucky!

---

here's me picking my nose with my nephew.

Yumm

2010-09-22T19:16:00.001-05:00

Just because I'm in Colorado doesn't mean I'm not cooking.

Tonight, I attempted penne ala vodka for the first time.

The results?

Delish!!!

gasp

2010-09-21T18:07:00.001-05:00

I'm in the middle of an intense joy-gasm.

This is the two sole (dual feed) walking foot for Bernard, my 830 record electric. This very special friend came into my life at 1:38pm today.

There were many squeals of delight and hugs all around. I'm not sure if I can contain myself!!!!!

a dash of color

2010-09-18T08:54:00.002-05:00

Do you ever look at something and feel completely stunned by it's color? That's how this flower made me feel.

Cookie mess

2010-09-11T18:47:00.002-05:00

If you give a mouse a cookie, it still won't be this messy.

And if they steal your cookie, then you get screwed twice.

i made it

2010-09-10T00:11:00.008-05:00

apparently, i put on my big girl panties this morning without even realizing it. i can give details another day, but for now, let's all just agree that we're happy for a new day. a new start. a new chance.

this picture is proof that i made it through today. and that's a big deal for me. today was, in short, an incredibly hard day. i had to do something that i never thought i would be strong enough to handle, let alone do it by myself. but i did.

---

i also wanted to throw up a quick snapshot of me where i feel like i look good. with all of the pictures i take, i realized yesterday that im just not good at posing. im choosing to laugh at it, but somehow i manage to give myself a double chin in just about every picture. i stand in awkward poses that make me look "bigger" and when i smile wide my cheeks puff out and make me look a bit chubbers.

and that would be okay if i was the bug's age. or bug.

but no, im me. im not getting into a diatribe about my weight and weight issues; nor am i standing on a soapbox talking about body image problems. im simply saying, i think im pretty faboosh sometimes, and i think we should all take a minute to acknowledge that sweetness.

AND YOU'RE JUST AS KICK-BUTT!!!

im putting myself to bed. sorry.

back to the garden!!!

2010-09-08T19:36:00.004-05:00

today, four friends reunited at last! there was a missing piece {im looking at you magsie!}, but it'll be another month before we can all hang out again. le sigh. i love these girls.

but ive come to an important conclusion - i dont take enough pictures! okay, well, the {literally} thousands of pictures on my computer might say otherwise, so let me clarify. i dont take enough pictures of myself and my girlfriends. as ive gotten older {and my hips wider}, ive stopped taking pictures of myself, and many of my friends have started doing the same. and that's pretty awful. i photograph the bug and flowers and scottis, but not me. so, as imperfect as i think i look, im pledging to change that. and so here you go. four friends who have weathered medical school and babies and hormones and life. four people who had a BLAST with each other today. four people who laughed hard and smiled the entire time. thank god for good friends!

okay, you didnt think i would skimp on the garden pictures, did you? because i totally didnt.

i loved the geometric shape of these water plants. and the green with red tints around the edge were awesome.

okay, so at first i was just photographing the water lilies... but then this little insect photo-bombed me and i just about died. it was totally just chilling, hanging out, and having a good time. i felt privileged to document such a momentous occasion.

this just looked pretty sweet. i loved how the water droplets looked like they were stuck on there - almost like it's from a glue gun.

here's the inside of a crumpled up flower. it seemed mid-wilt and i loved that.

posing deja vu

2010-09-07T23:03:00.001-05:00

looking at the elephant jammie pictures, i got a strange sense of deja vu. but why? i thought. "she is such a little poser." and eureka! i thought that exact same thing in may when we i snapped the pictures on the right.

interestingly enough, both pictures were taken when we were with Fred and Helen {you just cant see that in the pictures on the right}. but sure enough, when they're around she loves to pose. hmm... i wonder why that is?

a thousand kisses

2010-09-07T22:50:00.002-05:00

my arms want to grab her out of bed so that i can kiss her head a thousand times when i look at this picture.

we were in albuquerque {it only took me 3 months to learn and then remember how to spell that right} last week when i snapped this with my phone.

the next Mariah

2010-09-03T09:16:00.001-05:00

Singing

2010-08-31T12:37:00.001-05:00

The bug sang during her bath this morning. The entire song was her singing "dad, daddy, daddy, dad, dad, dad.". Over and over again. Sometimes she would stop to laugh, but then she would pick right back up. I was pleasantly surprised by her consistency with the lyrics and melody.

What wasn't pleasant was the volume at which she sang. And the echo didn't help. I'm just glad our hotel neighbors left earlier this morning...

But to describe it as adorable would be a massive understatement. She really loves her dad!

the future of medicine?

2010-08-30T18:05:00.003-05:00

yikes. i know we're all worried about universal healthcare these days. and i was too, until today. now i'm beginning to wonder more about the future of medical care, especially as it relates to the future dr. scottis.

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you see, this morning, at around 7am he woke me up and the following converstation was had...

S: nat, did you pack my pants?

N: what?

S: i said, did you pack my pants?

N: WHAT?!?!

S: yeah, i forgot to get them from the car before we left (they were there to be dry cleaned). you told me to get them, but i didnt.

N: seriously? you're starting a one month rotation without pants?!

S: well, i have one pair of khakis that you made me bring along. i can wear those today, but can you get me some more today?

{and SCENE}

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yes folks, he can do all sorts of awesome surgical stuff and yadda yadda yadda. now, it might just be me, but im pretty sure they frown on doctors working without pants.

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{giggle}